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Boys To Men


Warren Farrell’s Presentation

at University of Toronto

Boys are experiencing a crisis throughout the industrialized world

“From my perspective, boys and men are in the same family boat as women and girls, and boys are experiencing a boy crisis throughout the industrialized world that is hurting boys, families, the economy and those of our daughters who wish to parent their children with motivated and loving men.” ~ Dr. Warren Farrell on YouTube November 20, 2012

Usually I write about parental alienation. But Dr. Farrell’s attempt to lecture about boys and men is the news of the day and goes naturally with any discussion about equal parenting. The only posters I have ever put up around Abbotsford were to promote Bubbles of Love Day. Everyone was very respectful and kind to me, and I took down the posters weeks later.

In 2001 I was introduced to Dr. Farrell’s 1993 book, The Myth of Male Power. Sociologists used to theorize that men controlled the world’s money, therefore men must have all the power. But in his book, Dr. Farrell’s examples – and there are many – of how men do not control their own lives, are intriguing. One of our local newspapers wrote exceptional praise for this award-winning, international best-selling author on the front page of the book:

“Extraordinary power and eloquence, which derive from the author’s ability to retain his compassion for women while identifying with male suffering… a remarkable inspiration for those embarking on the rocky road to change.” ~ Vancouver Sun

In the mid 1970’s Dr. Farrell began to notice that divorces were on the increase and children were beginning to have a failure to launch when they didn’t have their fathers involved. He began to investigate that and recognizes, and writes about, the importance of father involvement.

Feminists said that Warren Farrell is the perfect example of what’s wrong with the so-called Mens’ Rights Movement. Dr. Farrell, the former chairperson of the National Organization of Women, understands feminism and calls for equality, recognizing the importance of both genders. That is what feminism calls for, isn’t it?

The Education Of Our Sons

We Need to Create a Parliamentary Council on Boys

In March 2009, President Obama signed an Executive Order creating the White House Council on Women and Girls. “The purpose of this Council is to ensure that American women and girls are treated fairly in all matters of public policy,” said President Obama. Today, Dr. Warren Farrell is leading the charge of a new proposal, to create a White House Council on Boys to Men.

The Bi-Partisan Commission

A commission was created by Dr. Farrell in 2010 when he pulled together a bi-partisan group of leading American authors, academics, and practitioners. You can learn more about the commission’s creation here, see the bios of the commission members here or read commission member’s articles here.

“There is a lot of scientific evidence that the status quo doesn’t work.” —Arne Duncan, U.S. Secretary of Education

American children are falling behind most G-20 nations in educational achievement, and U.S. boys are falling well behind girls. Higher educational achievements of boys and men has been a given for so long, it has been easy to miss the reversal of this trend over the last thirty years. This graph makes that reversal clear.

The Decline of Boys’ School Performance: A Statistical Snapshot

Fortunately, teacher training and efforts on behalf of girls have helped girls in almost every area —including teachers being aware of when they were catering to more assertive hand-raising by boys. Unfortunately, we have been unaware of the pendulum’s swing: even a decade ago, only 19% of girls felt teachers do not listen to them — versus 31% of boys.

Boys increasingly face problems in reading and writing, motivation to be in school, motivation to do homework after school, grades, standardized test scores, violence, and criminal activity. More boys are dropouts, in special education, and expelled, despite being more medicated to mitigate those problems. Perhaps as a result of all of the above, female college students and female college graduates, now far outnumber their male counterparts — a trend that shows no sign of leveling off.

Saving the ‘Lost Boys’ of Higher Education

Higher-education officials have been wringing their hands about our own “lost boys” for years. And yet the flip-flopped gender gap continues to widen: In April 2011, the U.S. Census Bureau released data showing that, for the first time, women have sailed past men in obtaining both bachelor’s degrees and advanced college degrees. The report sparked some discussion about today’s shifting gender roles and the burgeoning ranks of stay-at-home dads, but over all, much of the commentary has had a matter-of-fact tone. Thanks to the likes of Richard Whitmire’s 2010 book Why Boys Fail and The Atlantic’s exhaustive cover story “The End of Men,” Americans, it seems, are getting used to the idea that men are on the decline.

Abundant Struggles of Boys Regardless of Race or Socioeconomic Status

The lack of progress may stem from our sense that males hold all the cards—an impression undiminished by the abundant research documenting their struggles, which affect boys and men regardless of race or socioeconomic status. Contemplated in the abstract, the image of hard-working women giving a bunch of masculine underachievers their comeuppance after eons of patriarchy might seem just. But the realities of the new gender gap are nothing to celebrate.

For cash-strapped colleges and universities, the notion that roughly half of their potential “customers” are more likely to quit school early or skip higher education altogether is troubling indeed.

All of us ought to find this troubling as well, regardless of our gender or political persuasion. Amid a global marketplace brimming with hungry competitors, can we afford to foot the bill for generations of lost boys, in the face of looming unemployment and debt?

Local Blogger Goes To School

Girl Writes What has wonderful news. She says high school and universities – some from Canada – are calling to ask permission to use her videos about boys and men in their classrooms. Naturally, she was honoured, but she wanted to point out that she was just a waitress and her content was not entirely new. Many of her ideas came from reading books and from other MRA’s (Men’s Rights Activists) on the Internet. Isn’t that how sociology professors become experts too? Given all the bad news in this post about boys struggles, some good news is welcome. The next video is an explanation for our society’s ability to tolerate the level of hatred expressed towards Dr. Farrell on Nov 20, 2012 in Toronto and the attempts by feminists to demonize all men. Girl Writes What made this 20 minute video before making lunch for her son. It was posted on Feb 21, 2012.

The Theme of Movember 2012

Knowledge shared from one generation to the next and wisdom passed down by one’s dad or father figure shapes who we become

Over the past two years, Movember has paid homage to the Modern Gentleman and Country Gentleman, exploring his appreciation and penchant for luxury items, etiquette, craftsmanship, pride and honour.

In 2012, we are getting down to the raw hard truths of the past two years and taking a look, quite simply, at what it means to be a better man. 2012 is the year of Movember & Sons.

Knowledge shared from one generation to the next and wisdom passed down by one’s dad or father figure, plays a meaningful role in shaping who we become. This learning continues throughout life, but also reaches a point at which the exchange is reversed and insight is passed back up the chain.

The collective knowledge of generations gives us great power to avoid mistakes of the past, plan thoughtfully for the future and to become the best version of one’s self.

This Movember, we will encourage all men to seek and share knowledge and wisdom with loved ones, to learn their family health history and predispositions and to understand the risks they face. These simple actions can have a significant impact of the quality and longevity of your journey through this life.

Last year, Movember had its most successful year to date with over 850,000 Mo Bros and Mo Sistas across the globe raising a phenomenal $CAD 125.7 million for prostate cancer. The hairy movement will continue to grow in 2012, as 21 countries across five continents unite to have an everlasting impact on the face of men’s health.

Knowledge is power; the time to learn and grow is now. Prepare yourself my son.

La fête des bulles d’amour – 25 avril, 2013
Ensemble, nous sommes capables de beaucoup.
Il n’y a que 152 jours avant la journée de sensibilisation!

Bubbles Of Love Day – April 25, 2013
Together We Can Make A Difference
Only 152 days till Awareness Day!

Favourite Links

Dr. Richard Gardner.com via Dr. Richard A. Warshak.com

COCHEM, GERMANY: The Cochem shared parenting model

L’Action des Nouvelles Conjointes eNouveaux Conjoints du Québec

ACALPA – UNE ASSOCIATION CONTRE L’ALIÉNATION PARENTALE pour le maintien du lien familial

NOT ALL DADS ARE DEADBEATS in ONTARIO

Canadian Children’s Rights Council – Conseil Canadien des droits des enfants

Canadian Equal Parenting Council – Conseil de L’Égalité Parentale du Canada

CLICK FOR PINK SHIRT DAY 2012

CLICK FOR BC CHILD & YOUTH ADVOCACY

CLICK FOR PA AWARENESS WEBSITE

CLICK FOR SURREY YOUTH RESOURCES

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