Posts Tagged ‘peace’

It’s Bubbles of Love Day 2017

Family feuds, like the Hatfield-McCoy War of 1863, have lasted a lifetime, or at least until everyone was dead. I am tired of high conflict divorce. It seemed hopeless and it never occurred to me we might someday outlive most of this abuse. I want to stand by Karen Copeland and all the other British Columbian parents who also have every cause to feel tired. Parents who work with Abbotsford’s pediatricians and specialists on care plans for children with chronic illnesses. Parents who spend many days each year, sometimes including Christmas Eve, in family court. Parents who have been alienated from their children for years. Parents who feel like they have given up simply because they stop for respite or to help their own elderly parents. We don’t think of it when our children are babies, but we usually spend much more time caring for our parents than our children.

A few people gently say to me, “You haven’t gotten too far. Wouldn’t it be better to quit talking about parental alienation?” When it first happened, it was excruciating. I couldn’t stop talking about it. But now I have found more peace. And of course it would be better for all these vulnerable parents to recover some strength, but their children are the primary victims of these types of struggles and need support and care, sometimes lifelong care. And in those cases I hope parents find some support and respite.

There is a wonderful Internet meme from history and divorce websites that lifts up tired parents. It points out that Adolf Hilter, like other heinous abusers, made us feel that if he just created enough chaos he could do anything. That there was no hope. But Winston Churchill, like other inspirational leaders, made you think YOU could do anything. And like, other community leaders, the Right Honourable Mr. Churchill, was not particularily partisan. In fact, he went with which ever political party he thought would achieve the most good. Mr. Churchill stood up to abusers and inspired a nation, and the entire commonwealth, to never, never, never give in.

And a special encouragement to fathers, because 92% of divorced dads are not treated like caregivers. Men are told that they can be called parents if they feel it in their hearts. This is the most powerful law in family court. It is used only to assign maintenance support, but never to assign parenting time. Men are told reproductive rights belong to women, not to humans. Men are told that children need money, not parents. Even though Canada’s honourable courts declare children need money, they have never advocated for men to protect their assets, or until recently, even their inheritance, for their children. Men are told that they are deadbeat, even violent characters and their lives are expendable. These ideas are sad discrimination and heart-breaking child abuse!

Canada’s attempt to maintain this greedy divorce industry, even includes promoting same-sex divorce starting in 2005. Gay divorce is suddenly less lucrative since marriage equality, or more correctly divorce equality, came to the United States in 2015. Now we all have the equal right to live in poverty and misery. The Canadian Revenue Agency and provincial Ministers of Finance refuse to advocate for divorced men, despite a statutory duty to do so. The National Inquiry into Missing and Murdered Indigenous People

Chief Ernie Crey and many others ask for a National Inquiry into Missing or Murdered Indigenous People

refuses to advocate for boys and men, except as it might impact adult indigenous women and their families. Although the Revenue Agency is happy to advocate for itself against the suggestion it concealed Canada’s Child Tax Benefits from fathers for decades, or that it overlooked tax loopholes or maybe outright evasion by some of these desperate dads. Ministers of Finance routinely look for a share of this undue enrichment even today.

British Columbia’s Attorney General has a joint initiative with the Mayor of Abbotsford called Zero Tolerance Against Men to fight against domestic violence. This policy ignores the fact it was an Abbotsford Grandmother who was involved in murdering her daughter over a twisted definition of honour. This ignores the 13% of men that London’s Abused Womens Society claim suffer intimate partner violence or the more than half million Canadian men StatsCanada reports annually alert police about family violence. Disregarding violence against men and boys has the appearance of hypocrisy and injustice.

Zero Tolerance Against Men also ignores the 70% of Indigenous Canadians who are missing or murdered boys and men and their families. Turning a blind eye to missing or murdered Indigenous men and boys has the appearance of supporting murder. I urge our Honourable Attorney General of British Columbia to stop discriminating against an entire gender and their families. Instead, create a joint initiative with Fraser Health and the other health authorities for Zero Tolerance Against Prostate Cancer or Suicide or even even better, Zero Tolerance Against Child Abuse. And support the inclusion of men and boys in the National Inquiry into Missing or Murdered Indigenous People.

Child abuse, like any other public health issue, public interest issue, or public security issue, creates life-long effects and deficits, which increase health spending, school spending, and prison spending, with a major impact on all costs, because these developmental problems are life-long.

Abby Wear Plaid for Dad

Abbotsford City Councillors 2017 #WearPlaidForDad

Abbotsford teachers, principals, school trustees, and parent advisory councillors have been fighting to conceal mental health issues and school safety issues since 1998 because they believe it would be a huge public relations disaster and parents would move to schools without safety issues. The problem with this wrong-headed theory is obvious: teachers, trustees and judges have been the only professionals failing to acknowledge childhood mental illness at ALL Canadian schools. Some teachers unions have asked for pay increases, grudgingly admitting school safety issues exist. Judges are being sent to school to learn about child development. In approximately 2014, we changed vast swathes of Canada’s education laws and child protection laws to stop teachers from barring parents from school on the argument someone might have a restraining order against them. If any teacher bars you, claiming there is some restraining order somewhere against you – ask them to prove it. If the school district or school board says they can’t prove it, but you are still barred from school – ask the police to help you and your children.

Kids need support to facilitate community partnerships among families, students, law enforcement agencies, education systems, mental health and substance use disorder services, family-based mental health services, welfare agencies, health care services (including physicians), faith-based programs, trauma networks, and other community-based systems; and establish mechanisms for children and adolescents to report incidents of bullying or plans by other children, adolescents, or adults to commit violence.

It’s not only important for someone’s overall well-being, but not having this kind of support would definitely influence how students do in school. The wide-spread pain and social isolation created by Canada’s judges and educators is the exact opposite of family connections. The denial and coverup of child metal health concerns and school safety issues by teachers and judges is also the essence of the word stigma. Can you think of a few other words for this coverup and lack of support?

What are you doing in your community and workplace to be a good neighbour? At the Directorate of Agencies for School Health (DASH-BC), they say they believe that by promoting neighbourly values in their relationships with their colleagues and partners, they are better positioned to build healthy school communities. But the truth is parents are in the best position to deal with issues like Canada’s opioid crisis, bully crisis, or any other mental health concerns or childhood issues. It’s NOT only teachers that children remember for a lifetime. It is ALL the people from their childhood and especially their first teachers – their parents. Both teachers and Canadian courts have utterly overstated and overstepped their authority and ability to improve public health. It is vulnerable parents who need help finding child health resources, not teachers or lawyers.

April is the month when we focus on treatment and prevention of all types of child abuse. April 25th is when we focus on Parental Alienation Awareness.


Join or start a Parental Alienation Awareness Organization (PAAO) or Canadian Association for Equality (CAFE) branch in your province or territory & learn campaign and messaging tips to grow prevention in your community this spring.

April is Child Abuse Prevention Month. It’s a great opportunity for us all to build awareness and educate community members on how to prevent abuse. And today is the day. As you decide what kind of prevention or awareness campaign will best serve the members of your community this Child Abuse Prevention Month, we’re here to help with ready-to-go campaign ideas and messaging tips that work on the ground.

Given that our government doesn’t plan on fixing our broken systems any time soon — the Canadian Association for Equality is proud to announce that we opened the doors to Canada’s first Centre for Men and Families in 2014 — Toronto now has a home dedicated to the health and well-being of boys, men and their families.

Since it opened, visitors and calls to the centre have been non-stop. Fathers needing help regaining access to their children. Mothers seeking tools for their boys struggling to stay in school. Men in desperate need of counselling and peer support.

We need your help to keep the momentum going — please join us and make a donation today. View our video message at: or view PAAO’s message at


Ideas Are Bulletproof

A Powerful Symbol Of The Right To Education

Malala Yousafzai, the Pakistani student who was shot in the head by the Taliban after speaking out for education rights for children, spoke to the U.N. Youth Assembly on her 16th birthday.

Malala at the UN

On Friday Malala made the following inspiring speech to the Secretary-General of the United Nations and all the assembled world leaders, asking for compulsory free schooling for all children. This is what all parents around the world want for their children.

“I cannot believe how much love people have shown me. I have received thousands of good wish cards and gifts from all over the world. Thank you to all of them. Thank you to the children whose innocent words encouraged me. Thank you to my elders whose prayers strengthened me.”

“Malala day is not my day. Today is the day of every woman, every boy and every girl who have raised their voice for their rights. There are hundreds of human rights activists and social workers who are not only speaking for human rights, but who are struggling to achieve their goals of education, peace and equality. Thousands of people have been killed by the terrorists and millions have been injured. I am just one of them.”

“The terrorists thought they would change my aims and stop my ambitions, but nothing changed in my life except this: weakness, fear, and hopelessness died – strength, courage and power was born. The extremists were and are afraid of books and pens. The power of education frightens them. They are afraid of women. The power of the voice of women frightens them.”

“Dear fellows, today I am focusing on women’s rights and girls’ education because they are suffering the most. There was a time when women social activists asked men to stand up for their rights. But, this time, we will do it by ourselves. I am not telling men to step away from speaking for women’s rights rather I am focusing on women to be independent to fight for themselves.”

“Dear brothers and sisters, we want schools and education for every child’s bright future. We will continue our journey to our destination of peace and education for everyone. No one can stop us. We will speak for our rights and we will bring change through our voice. We must believe in the power and the strength of our words. Our words can change the world.”

“One child, one teacher, one pen and one book can change the world. Education is the only solution. Education First.” ~ Malala at the United Nations Youth Assembly, July 12, 2013

Achieving Education For All

8 Millennium Goals

In 2000, governments and the UN adopted the Millennium Development Goals, eight goals to tackle some of the world’s biggest issues, including ensuring all children get a quality education. To increase progress toward this goal, UN Secretary-General Ban Ki-moon launched the Global Education First Initiative last September.

September 2012, Secretary-General Ban Ki-moon launched the Global Education First Initiative. Jenni Lee, a senior communications officer at the United Nations Foundation, interviewed Gregory Dubois, the UN Global Education Officer, who explained the purpose of the initiative is to build stronger momentum for the achievement of the international education target by 2015. There are three priority areas: 1) to put every child in school; 2) to improve the quality of learning; and 3) to foster global citizenship.

Thanks to my friend, Bill, for sending me the link to sign up for Malala’s petition. Emailed it to all my family, and now posting it for all of you: This amazing 15-year-old headed to the UN to ask world leaders to get every single child in school. We’re trying to get 1 million signatures to help her — sign up? — The World In Action: Every Child In School Petition

Bubbles of Love Day

Like Malala I cannot believe how much love and support people have shown me. Many countries are struggling with divorce conflict and I have received good wishes from all over the world. There’s a truck driver in Abbotsford who says he was divorced 40 years ago. His children come over to visit every Christmas, he always invites his ex-wife, but she begs off. He says he cannot even remember what the conflict was about. Like Malala Day, Bubbles of Love Day is a bulletproof idea that harnesses the power of words and education.

Canada Flag childs hand

La fête des bulles d’amour – le 25 avril, 2014
Ensemble, nous sommes capables de beaucoup.
Il n’y a que 285 jours avant la journée de sensibilisation!

Bubbles Of Love Day – April 25, 2014
Together We Can Make A Difference
Only 285 days till Awareness Day!

Social Policies

December 12, 2012 Leave a comment


Australia’s Social Policies

A new study mapping when children spend time with their father after divorce, has revealed a shift away from children only spending time with their father every second weekend.

Children Benefiting as Shared Parenting Taking Hold in Australia: New Study Finds

The study, based on a random sample of 408 separated parents registered with the Australian Child Support Agency, found that despite the complexity of some parenting arrangements, children generally moved between homes two or four times each fortnight.

Led by Dr Bruce Smyth of the ANU College of Arts and Social Sciences the study found that modern parenting schedules post-divorce show a greater sharing of parental responsibilities and richer paternal involvement than previously evident. Read the entire article here.

Canada’s Social Policies

Two Out of Five Federal Parties Support Shared Parenting

The Green Party of Canada’s Equal Parenting Policy

If you click on the image below you will be linked to the Green Party of Canada’s Equal Parenting Policy.

The Government of Canada’s Equal Parenting Policy

If you click on the image below, you will hopefully link to the Conservative Party of Canada Policy Declaration website. The government’s equal parenting policy is in Section K, item number 68 on page 21.

If you click on the quote below, you will link to a petition that has some interesting Canadian history and statistics. Before MP Vellacott’s Equal Parenting Bill C-422 in 2009, there was Bill C-245 by Mr. Hill in 2002, and Senator Ann Cool’s For The Sake of the Children Committee recommendations in 1998.

WHEREAS the vast majority of the Canadian public, 78 percent, supports Equal Shared Parenting legislation, with a high of 86 percent in the province of Quebec, and among supporters of major Political Parties in Canada, Equal Shared Parenting is supported by 78 percent of Conservatives, 78.5 percent of NDPs, 80.6 percent of Liberals and 83 percent of Bloc Quebecois. – Petition to the House of Commons of Canada

British Columbia’s Social Policies

Premier Clark Calls For Safe BC Schools

In the video link at the end of this paragraph, Premier Clark says that we need to create safe schools for kids. She says being bullied does not build character and it is not a right of passage. Our Premier says we need to create safer, kinder schools for our children. The Nov 2011 District Parent Advisory Council (DPAC) meeting, held at W.A. Fraser Middle School in Abbotsford was the only District meeting I have ever attended where all of the 47 PAC presidents were invited. At that meeting I mentioned that we needed to create safe schools for kids, but the response from senior education administrators at the time was that we did not have a safety problem in our schools. Since then we have run more anti-gang programs, school-based substance abuse programs, an internet safety program, anti-bullying programs, and made our community aware of the crime of parental alienation. All of these were responses to significant serious problems in our schools and are starting to make a difference. As we prepare to start a new year, and an election year, I think it is appropriate to call for safe schools for our kids. Despite frequent attempts to silence these conversations, I see Christie Clark’s battle against bullying and Jill Egizii’s war against parental alienation as following long paths in one direction, with sincere motives. These campaigns are supported by the vast majority. I suspect we will continue to see both these ladies fighting for children regardless of their political campaigns.

Watch Premier Clark’s Call For Safe BC Schools in our legislature.

During the holidays, parental alienation is particularly difficult for families to deal with. Many of you may relate to one of these stories, explaining why Parental Alienation is Child Abuse. Fathers and Families hopes to put an end to stories like these, with equal parenting.



La fête des bulles d’amour – 25 avril, 2013
Ensemble, nous sommes capables de beaucoup.
Il n’y a que 133 jours avant la journée de sensibilisation!

Bubbles Of Love Day – April 25, 2013
Together We Can Make A Difference
Only 133 days till Awareness Day!

Favourite Links

Dr. Richard via Dr. Richard A.

COCHEM, GERMANY: The Cochem shared parenting model

L’Action des Nouvelles Conjointes et Nouveaux Conjoints du Québec



Canadian Children’s Rights Council – Conseil Canadien des droits des enfants

Canadian Equal Parenting Council – Conseil de L’Égalité Parentale du Canada





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