A Tale of Two Nurses

Chapter 1: The Period

It was the best of times, it was the worst of times, it was the spring of hope, it was the winter of despair… we were all going direct to Heaven, we were all going direct the other way – in short it was so far like the present period.

There was a Prime Minister with a large jaw and a Madame Chief Justice with a fair face. It was the year of Our Lord two thousand. In Canada there was scarcely an amount of order and protection to justify much national boasting.

Fathers in London’s gaols fought battles with their turnkeys, and the majesty of the law fired blunderbusses in among them, loaded with rounds of shot and ball. The divorce judge, ever busy and ever worse than useless, was in constant requisition, now stringing up long rows of miscellaneous deadbeat dads, now arbitrarily hanging a homemaker on Saturday who had been detained on Tuesday without a warrant. There were stories heard from people living with mental health problems and illnesses, their families, and the many dedicated people who worked with them across the country that moved all, angered all, and inspired all.

Schools had a statutory duty to report child abuse and claimed to be in the best position to do so but having absolutely no resources to identify child abuse, eventually declared that it was difficult to tell when this duty to report exactly existed. Teachers’ professional associations filled their complaints departments with union leaders to obstruct abuse investigations. Nine out of thirteen provinces and territories routinely took a half decade to complete investigations and serious results were always withheld from parents. Teachers were better protected than children.

Churches reported child abuse first to their insurance companies but never to police. By the time these ancient sanctuaries finally apologized for their harshness and child abuse, they appeared to be dwindling and closing.

Bar associations claimed the broad nature of the Legal Profession Act decreed the purpose of law societies was to “uphold and protect the public interest in the practice of law,” but not only failed to achieve it’s far-reaching obligations of overseeing the qualifications and conduct of it’s members, but also missed a higher goal of improving the administration of justice and keeping up with broader societal trends. In fact, bar associations in most provinces actively argued against almost all new child protection laws, except proposals that finally suggested tiny statutes of limitations on reporting child abuse be made unlimited because it was known children took decades to report their abuse. Judges and lawyers were arrested for everything from assault and rape to sexting photos and tax evasion.

All these things, and a thousand like them, came to pass in and close upon the dear old year two thousand. In the midst of it all, two young nurses were raising children. Nursing was the most trusted profession in the land. Both had earned a Bachelor of Science in Nursing degree from fine Canadian universities back in the eighties.

The Canadian Constitution limits vague words like “best interest” and arbitrary laws that randomly apprehend children.

The Constitution of Canada had just been repatriated and every school, labour union, and law court in the land declared itself a feminist institution. At school, both young nursing students were required by law to study the theory of feminism. It was the opinion of the decision-makers that female professions were the best to indoctrinate including nurses, teachers, and lawyers, especially since the ranks of female lawyers had suddenly swelled to half. This went on until universities decided feminist theory was obsolete. The government created a Legal Equality Action Fund to pay lawyers to run strategic and unending litigation for the benefit of women, until this was declared harmful. Any unfortunate males who wandered into these female professions were still required to study feminist theory although they were told by their professors that men could never be feminists because they could never understand what it was like to be a woman. Some nurses tried to start a new theory, claiming feminism required all patients to be treated equally.

Both nurses worked in big-city hospitals in Canada’s west coast temperate rain forest. One was a cardiac nurse and the government, needing critical care workers, paid for most of a Bachelor of Technology in Nursing, except the practicum, to reduce the nurse’s mobility. The other nurse was a teaching and learning expert in community health. Both nurses were married and raising two babies. Both families struggled with their own health concerns.

Chapter 2: The Fugitive

One ill spouse ran away with their babies. The first child abduction alert system to seek community help would not be created until 2002 in Alberta and would not be enhanced to use modern social media systems until 2016 in Ontario. The British Columbia Ministry of Children and Families threatened to apprehend the children if the nurse did not take their run-away ill spouse to court within ten days. This threat felt like an assault. The Ministry had a statutory duty to apprehend their children itself. The failure to report this duty was a non-disclosure which unduly enriched the Ministry and failed to protect the children.

The court found these facts to be an emergency and ordered the children home to their beds. The Royal Canadian Mounted Police knew where the kidnap den was and left the children in this stressful flight for ten more days. The nurse stopped nursing and paid a female process server one hundred dollars to serve the emergency court order on the absconding parent. Attempting to avoid service, the fugitive parent tucked a baby under each arm, like two footballs, and ran away again in to the dark rainy city. The Provincial Court of British Columbia and the Royal Canadian Mounted Police still did nothing, despite the process servers sworn affidavit of service to the court. The nurse telephoned the kidnap hideout and read a bedtime story to their children every night. The fugitive parent approached the Supreme Court of British Columbia from hiding for an order to cancel the Provincial Court hearing, making the fugitive the Supreme court applicant and demanding child support. Instead of shunting this out-of-control parent back to face the child protection hearing, the Supreme Court claimed some bizarre rule that said any party can cancel a child protection hearing as long as prepared to pay for it, and offered legal aid to pay for it. This nonsense law would be removed from legal books only a decade later, but not soon enough to save these children. The ill parent, struggling with two badly injured hips and knees from a work injury, was initially declared unfit but granted a year to rehabilitate. The nurse was ordered to pay child support from the very beginning, even though parenting the vast majority of the time and single-handedly whenever the ill parent was hospitalized. Warned by the court that the ill parent was trying to seize custody, even though unfit, the nurse struggled to parent and co-parent. The Supreme Court forgot it had a duty to report an unfit parent seeking sole custody.

The nurse-parent at first raised the babies as a single parent but always faced a court that felt it’s first job was to make more business for itself. The run-away parent was encouraged to fight in court for years, although never applying for divorce. Three years later the rehab parent was granted equal parenting time and a divorce decreed, even though neither parent had applied for divorce. At the turn of the century the divorce statute was an application-based law. The conversion of a child protection hearing created by the non-disclosing Minister of Children and Families and the non-disclosing Provincial Court to an arbitrary and unlawful divorce hearing created by no one was the Supreme Court of British Columbia acting beyond the scope of the law for the purpose of undue enrichment, and worse, failing to find the best interest of children.

Like the Provincial Court, the Supreme Court of British Columbia also failed to report to the nurse both that it had a statutory duty to report this child abuse emergency to the director of child protection and to finally hold or continue the public child protection hearing the Provincial Court was arbitrarily and unlawfully ignoring. This first parent-nurse was declared the loser of this unlawful hearing and ordered to pay both lawyers, including paying the legal aid lawyer as if she were a private lawyer. This legal aid lawyer knew the rehab parent was living with a person the court had already declared to be dangerous, but misspoke herself and misled the court to win her client even more parenting time. This legal aid lawyer also forgot the statutory duty to report known child abuse. She was eventually disbarred and her files handed over to the British Columbia Law Society.

Nurses are the worst parents in Canada according to the Supreme Court of British Columbia.

This first nurse-parent was told by a high court judge that nurses were the worst parents in Canada because they were always tired and never home. Even though both spouses were shift workers, the Honourable Justice arbitrarily focused on only the nurse-parent. His Honourable Lordship considered nurses schedules to be harsh. Nursing leaders at the time considered the childcare schedule created by the Supreme Court of British Columbia to be harsh, but unlike the court, tried to, and eventually fully accommodated this schedule. The parent-nurse resigned after a half dozen years of self-made shift trades, even though a dozen years later the entire province would create a British Columbia Responsive Shift Scheduling Working Group, but again not soon enough to save these children. The former nurse lost the privilege to drive for approximately a decade supposedly in response to being unable to pay the former child support. This punishment was longer than the longest ban placed on drunk drivers who killed children. Fourteen years into the future, courts would order that child support could be reduced and paid directly to older teens. But for now, the court ordered that if there ever was a small nursing pension paid to the former nurse that the former fugitive would receive half.

Chapter 3: Rehab

The second ill spouse was severely injured in a car accident at an exit ramp from the Trans-Canada Highway where it runs through the lush green Fraser River Valley, leading to one of the five largest cities in British Columbia. Having some degree of paralysis, this rehab parent was given no accommodation or chance to rehabilitate, but instantly found too ill to ever parent again. The second parent nurse was declared the instant winner of all parenting time, relying on Canada’s Divorce Act. The ill spouse was granted a telephone call to their babies every Sunday and lived for these short minutes of parenting time. The parent-nurse scooped their children, went nursing in Northern Alberta, yelling angrily at their children during each Sunday telephone call to limit even this brief contact. The second ill spouse knew the first nurse-parent had experience fighting in court for years, trying to enforce parenting time and asked for help to enforce Sunday contact.

While these two alienated parents were able to provide each other with support and encouragement, neither was ever able to enforce parenting time ordered by the courts, despite their children’s entire childhoods spent seeking help from the Canadian legal system. It was a time when family courts were unqualified for their purpose, caring more about money than children. These two parents did a far, far better thing, than they had ever done. They were fit, willing parents, standing up to a corrupt and unfit legal system that claimed to have a crystal ball that foretold which children to apprehend without any credible evidence. According to court records of this time, almost all children of divorce were apprehended without benefit of medical or legal counsel – just a judge and two stressed parents. Both these nursing families were failed by their family doctors, the police, the school board, the courts, and what was called the health system at the time.

The first parent-nurse investigated the local school board for being involved in this child abuse. The Kindergarten teacher said she felt more comfortable with female parents than males. The Grade 8 teacher told their oldest child not to live with the nurse. The Grade 12 teacher tried to prevent the nurse from attending high school graduation, suggesting maybe a restraining order existed. At first the school board refused to co-operate with the investigation, claiming there was no abuse, then disclosed 200 pages of notes, withholding the rest, claiming third parties were involved. No one ever learned what kind of abuse third parties perpetrate. Like the other agents of Canada, the school board forgot it had a duty to report child abuse, although the judge gave a reminder. The nurse finally learned that Canadian school boards have no authority to enforce restraining orders against third parties, although this was two years after being honoured with the Parent Volunteer Award at the graduation ceremony.

The stress of losing one parent for no reason except to create a divorce industry was a child mental health problem. The downsizing of Riverview Mental Hospital in Coquitlam continued through the nineties until it was closed in 2002 and things got far worse for any families facing mental health concerns. A decade and a half later every Kindergarten and Grade one and two teacher across the country would be discussing child mental health on electronic media, there would be Kids Help Phones, Gay-Straight Alliances, Anti-Bully campaigns, and provincial governments would create mental health strategies and commissions. The Canadian Pediatric Society and the American Psychological Association would publish extensive and helpful notes on how Borderline, Narcissistic, and Anti-Social Personality Disorders contributed to parental alienation.

Notes and Questions

by Kevin Pedersen

Both the nurses in this modern fable were fathers and obviously responsible and fighting to be deeply involved parents. Both the rehab parents were mothers and obviously responsible and fighting to be deeply involved parents. The main features of these tragedies were highly stressed children surrounded by parents in decades of high conflict.

These accounts raise so many questions: Why were parents fighting for their own children against anyone, except maybe the Director of Child Protection? Were only some unfit mothers allowed to rehabilitate? Were some parents too disabled to be accommodated and allowed to rehabilitate? Did a broken back or paralysis prevent parenting? Did deafness, blindness or wheelchair use prevent parenting in an era of government ordered and funded accessibility? Did a severe, chronic mental illness always prevent parenting like a physical illness? Did incarceration always prevent parenting? Why did Canada pay to train parents to be nurses and soldiers, if decision-makers believed they were creating the worst parents in the land? What did Canada mean by rehabilitation and accommodation?

And of course the class action question: why weren’t ALL unfit parents accommodated and allowed to rehabilitate, including any parents with harsh nursing schedules? Wouldn’t rehabilitated parents truly be in children’s best interest rather than arbitrarily apprehending children unlawfully from one parent in each separated family? Some suggested the Magna Carta of 1125 was the greatest constitutional document of all time – a great charter of freedom that set a limit on this type of Draconian arbitrariness.

Others asked if the advancement of nurses needed to happen at the expense of other shift workers? Or if the advancement of male parents needed to happen at the expense of female parents? Those who had once been feminists asked if the advancement of women needed to happen at the expense of men? Dangerous lawyers, who had always sought to destroy their opposing parties, pondered if it was true that Canada had always accommodated since the time of Samuel Champlain, while hanging shingles with the word Mediator. Attorneys General tried to divert reasonable parents out of court. Reforms happened at a snails pace.

The Rt Hon Madame Chief Justice of Canada believes that we have always accommodated since the days of Samuel Champlain.

Some parents might see parts of themselves in these stories, because these are common tales in family court. I want to encourage and remind ALL parents, both the targets of these group attacks and systemic discrimination, who may have been told they didn’t try hard enough to stop the decades of alienation and even bullies who endlessly seek alliances to alienate their own children, that there is a difference between feeling shame and beating ourselves up and feeling hope, and being positive.

Target parents will probably never get an apology from those who have committed generations of child abuse. But today in British Columbia any parent who threatens to drive over people or to use a vehicle to kidnap a child will instantly lose both their driver’s licence and all of their parenting time for thirty to sixty days. Police agencies operate school programs with names like Cops For Kids Safety. Community Services agencies operate parent programs with names like Re-Connect With Your Kids. Judges can order parent-child reunification programs for targets and send alienating parents into Victim Impact Programs to be taught empathy and accountability. An inability to learn either would be a guide to the level of alienation.

We can also make living amends by thinking of our families in terms like, “what am I doing today to make sure these things never happen again to children?” Try to find some nice way to commemorate Parental Alienation Awareness Day, even if it’s just a relaxing walk in the park or to the corner and back.

Today is April 24, 2016 – only one more day till International Parental Alienation Awareness Day and Bubbles of Love Day. The purpose of this writing is to increase awareness of the broader questions and wider issues surrounding parental alienation.

All characters appearing in this work are fictitious. Any resemblance to real persons, living or dead, is purely coincidental.

Samuel de Champlain founded Quebec City 1608

Springing Forward

Dr. Bif Beats Adversity

In her Women’s Day address, rocker Bif Naked said she found two very powerful effects when helping other women through adversity. The first was laughter. Bif said she always tried to get people laughing even when they were all in a tough situation together, like facing cancer. Laughter and jokes always works to fight any health problem, any adversity.

The second was the power of connection. Bif said, “When we gather as groups, the connection we have will always get you through. The collective connection we have no matter what situation you are in, you can reach out to the hand of [another] and feel safe.” She said she does a lot of negative self talk. She allows herself to get defeated over the most stupid and shallow things. She said she thinks men probably do these things too. Negative self-talk is a human trait.

Bif was never really angry or confrontational. But she did say one thing that surprised me. Bif said when she thought Canada’s rape laws were too weak, she wrote a song entitled Come to Canada and Rape. In Abbotsford we have the Zero Tolerance Against Men Initiative and 64 BC child advocate agencies worry that the Canadian justice system is hyper-encarcerating boys and young men, especially First Nations children. All of us, or at least most of us, seem to agree that men can be, and often are, abused. According to a recent survey by the U.S. Centers for Disease Control, 40 percent of all victims of extreme domestic violence are men, with female perpetrators. Nonetheless, only 15 percent of all reported cases involve male victims, because, thanks to gender stereotypes, men know that society will most likely ridicule or dismiss them. And the high male suicide rate seems to suggest there is some negative self talk and defeat going on for everyone.

But this was Women’s Day after all and Bif finished up talking about the power of words, the power of music, and of course, the power of girls. The University of the Fraser Valley Senate has voted to give Bif an honorary doctorate for her important work helping women. Congratulations and thank you to the soon-to-be Dr. Bif for a cool talk.

Read AbbyNews article Bif Naked to receive doctorate from UFV.

Parent-Teacher News

Click if you are having trouble reading School Board News.

Bubble Science

We’ve had beautiful, sunny weather for two days now and I’m looking forward to “souffler des bulles d’amour” or breathing bubbles of love in the warm Spring sunshine with and for our kids.

I had a great time blowing bubbles last year and I don’t think I need to explain this phenomenon to you this year. Kids love to blow bubbles and even teens and adults laugh and get drawn in for a minute. You don’t even need a batch of cookies or any pamphlets about parental alienation (print Canadian pamphlets here). Just go to the Dollar Store, buy eight dollars worth of Bubble Wands in liquid soap and wait for a sunny Spring day. When a family comes by, ask the parents if they want a Bubble Wand, and watch the fun. It’s not an alternative to setting goals and creating an action plan, but when you feel really beat down by adversity, this is an inexpensive plan that helps everybody. First, it gives kids some fresh air and activity. Second, it gets everyone laughing. Third, it connects our communities. Beats the heck out of sitting around worrying about the problem. And you might just send the message that BOTH parents matter, so when parents remain at odds/contradict each other, it’s confusing and unsettling for kids, and can have long lasting effects.

I always love to learn new ways to blow bubbles. This morning a Dad taught me about the Bubble Pipe, like Santa Claus used to have before he quit smoking. Put your soap in a cup with a straw. Cover the cup with a Terry cloth, leaving the straw out. Blow in the straw long enough to fill the entire room with soap bubbles and foam, or until you feel dizzy, which ever happens first.

Sometimes on the Internet you will see photos of kids standing inside a soap bubble. It takes a lot of training to be a bubble scientist.

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La fête des bulles d’amour – le 25 avril, 2013
Ensemble, nous sommes capables de beaucoup.
Il n’y a que 46 jours avant la journée de sensibilisation!

Bubbles Of Love Day – April 25, 2013
Together We Can Make A Difference
Only 46 days till Awareness Day!

21st Century Values

Girls equal in British throne succession

British monarchy set to enter the 21st century?

The question of British throne succession has opened the Pandora’s Box of equality. Those who want elected heads of state in the 54 countries making up the British Commonwealth of Nations say “The monarchy discriminates against every man, woman and child who isn’t born into the Windsor family. To suggest that this has anything to do with equality is utterly absurd.”

Monarchists say it is simply a question of equality. It’s a value that everyone accepts. A commonsense and principled reform that allows our laws to evolve at the same rate as our societies. They are not expecting any opposition and add that on this topic there is no noise.

The ban on the monarch being married to a Roman Catholic is also being lifted. The Roman Catholic Archbishop of Westminster, Vincent Nichols, said the elimination of the “unjust discrimination” against Catholics would be widely welcomed.

Changing these laws which date back to the 1600s will require the consent of the commonwealth nations. There have been at least 11 attempts to change the passage of succession down the years, but they’ve never got anywhere. Now, with the arrival of Kate and William on the public stage, a sense of urgency has overtaken the drag of inertia. An October 28, 2011 BBC News Report states that the leaders of the Commonwealth countries where the Queen is head of state unanimously approved the changes at a summit in Perth, Australia. However, in 2013 these discussions revising the primogeniture laws seem to have provoked in some a more general scrutiny of the relevance of the royal family in societies where fairness and equality ought to reign supreme.

Work-Life Balance

The Wharton Work/Life Integration Project and Twitter Chat

I’m not certain why one third of Quebecers are unmarried. But it certainly is a great way to avoid the nightmare of Canada’s divorce law. Here’s a new link that takes the discussion one step further. The Wharton University of Pennsylvania has been running a Work/Life Integration Project since 1991. So far Stew Friedman, Wharton practice professor of management, has 20yrs of data that suggests we are working much longer hours and expecting dual career relationships, both of which lead couples to avoid having children.

“Think about … that perception of work demands just in terms of raw time,” Friedman says. “I’m not surprised that people are thinking, ‘I’m not going to be able to have children, or I will have fewer children.’ And the reduced likelihood of having children held true for men and women, which speaks to how the attitudes of men and women have evolved over the last two decades.”

From 1 p.m. to 2 p.m. ET on Tuesday, January 29, Knowledge@Wharton and Friedman will host a Twitter chat to further discuss the changing nature of work/life integration:

Q1 How has your definition of “having it all” changed over the course of your career?

Q2 What life- or work-related factor most influences how you define “having it all”?

Q3 How is the changing nature of work affected your ability to integrate career and the rest of life?

Q4 If you could change one thing about your work that would make life easier, what would it be?

Q5 For whom is “having it all” easier – men or women?

To participate in the chat, follow @knowledgwharton and @StewFriedman on Twitter and include the hashtag #kwchat in your replies.

You can read the rest of the Wharton article entitled The Changing Nature of ‘Having It All’.

A Hopeful DSM Update from Linda Gottlieb

From Dr. William Bernet, Chairman of the PAS working group:
“I will tell you what I have learned, but we may not know for sure until May 2013 when the book is published.”

As far as I can tell, the words “parental alienation” will not be in DSM-5. However, it seems very likely that the concept of parental alienation and the definition of parental alienation will be mentioned in at least two places in DSM-5.

If the actual behavior of turning a child against a parent is cited as an example of child psychological abuse, then this is much more significant than having the label of a diagnosis. Because once a behavior is deemed to be child abuse, IT CAN BE CRIMINALIZED. I am hoping for this! Read the rest of the update.

Changes in the DSM-5 put it more in sync with another widely used manual, the World Health Organization’s International Classification of Diseases, eleventh edition (ICD-11), PsychCentral reports. This may enhance communication and consistency among mental health care professionals who use either handbook.

Municipal Bylaws Support Mental Health Programs

Children who go through a hostile divorce and alienation, can present serious, longlasting health problems, including difficulties at school, work and in adult relationships. If doctors label parental alienation psychological child abuse this May, we will need policies to help keep children safe. Teachers and social workers are going to change their approach to ignoring this abuse and perhaps we will see municipal governments creating bylaws and programs to help promote child mental health.

Premier Proposes 10Yr Teacher Negotiation Framework

15 Things Kids Can Do Instead of Homework

La fête des bulles d’amour – 25 avril, 2013
Ensemble, nous sommes capables de beaucoup.
Il n’y a que 83 jours avant la journée de sensibilisation!

Bubbles Of Love Day – April 25, 2013
Together We Can Make A Difference
Only 83 days till Awareness Day!

Inaugural Parent Meeting

District Parent Meeting This Week

School Board Office Jan 24, 2013 7pm

The first District Parent Advisory Council (DPAC) meeting of the new year is this Thursday. The teachers will be talking about 21st Century Learning and changing our School Calendar. Both these topics should interest parents, because education is directly related to lifelong earnings and our children’s schedules are critical to our families and our communities. In this election year, I hope parents will also be talking about legitimate community representatives, because I am concerned we will miss our April election again. I am the oldest and most experienced member of our DPAC. I have seen meetings cancelled, and elections never called at all. Eventually, the DPAC executive will say it’s the time of the year when we appoint a new executive. At present our Constitutions says if delays can prevent parents from holding an election all year, then in December our executive can “APPOINT” their favourite parents. Two excuses have been given for cancelling elections: either no public servants can be found or a quorum of ten people cannot be gathered for the vote. Usually the three or four executive just reappoint themselves. However our present DPAC chairman was “appointed”, even though an alternate was standing right beside him asking for an election, and the appointed member was an outsider and completely new to our meetings. These excuses and this peculiar bylaw dismantle democracy. Perhaps this misused appointment bylaw should be removed from our Constitution, or at least, we should begin this year’s election planning in earnest. What do you think?

Reading Weeks, Longer Days For K-12

School Board To Debate School Calendar March 12, 2013

Posted January 17, 2013 at 16:42 | Updated January 17, 2013 at 16:42

The Divorced Father, Not An ATM

YVES MÉNARD The author lives in Lanoraie.

The Court of Appeal has rejected the request of a group of women who asked to increase child support by aligning the scales with the federal child support guidelines rather than those of Quebec. For the well-being of the entire family after separation or divorce, it is hoped that the Supreme Court will confirm the judgment of the Court of Appeal.

PAAO: Parental Alienation Awareness Organization

Busy Time Preparing For April Bubbles of Love Day

La fête des bulles d’amour – 25 avril, 2013
Ensemble, nous sommes capables de beaucoup.
Il n’y a que 92 jours avant la journée de sensibilisation!

Bubbles Of Love Day – April 25, 2013
Together We Can Make A Difference
Only 92 days till Awareness Day!

Social Policies

Australia’s Social Policies

A new study mapping when children spend time with their father after divorce, has revealed a shift away from children only spending time with their father every second weekend.

Children Benefiting as Shared Parenting Taking Hold in Australia: New Study Finds

The study, based on a random sample of 408 separated parents registered with the Australian Child Support Agency, found that despite the complexity of some parenting arrangements, children generally moved between homes two or four times each fortnight.

Led by Dr Bruce Smyth of the ANU College of Arts and Social Sciences the study found that modern parenting schedules post-divorce show a greater sharing of parental responsibilities and richer paternal involvement than previously evident. Read the entire article here.

Canada’s Social Policies

Two Out of Five Federal Parties Support Shared Parenting

The Green Party of Canada’s Equal Parenting Policy

If you click on the image below you will be linked to the Green Party of Canada’s Equal Parenting Policy.

The Government of Canada’s Equal Parenting Policy

If you click on the image below, you will hopefully link to the Conservative Party of Canada Policy Declaration website. The government’s equal parenting policy is in Section K, item number 68 on page 21.

If you click on the quote below, you will link to a petition that has some interesting Canadian history and statistics. Before MP Vellacott’s Equal Parenting Bill C-422 in 2009, there was Bill C-245 by Mr. Hill in 2002, and Senator Ann Cool’s For The Sake of the Children Committee recommendations in 1998.

WHEREAS the vast majority of the Canadian public, 78 percent, supports Equal Shared Parenting legislation, with a high of 86 percent in the province of Quebec, and among supporters of major Political Parties in Canada, Equal Shared Parenting is supported by 78 percent of Conservatives, 78.5 percent of NDPs, 80.6 percent of Liberals and 83 percent of Bloc Quebecois. – Petition to the House of Commons of Canada

British Columbia’s Social Policies

Premier Clark Calls For Safe BC Schools

In the video link at the end of this paragraph, Premier Clark says that we need to create safe schools for kids. She says being bullied does not build character and it is not a right of passage. Our Premier says we need to create safer, kinder schools for our children. The Nov 2011 District Parent Advisory Council (DPAC) meeting, held at W.A. Fraser Middle School in Abbotsford was the only District meeting I have ever attended where all of the 47 PAC presidents were invited. At that meeting I mentioned that we needed to create safe schools for kids, but the response from senior education administrators at the time was that we did not have a safety problem in our schools. Since then we have run more anti-gang programs, school-based substance abuse programs, an internet safety program, anti-bullying programs, and made our community aware of the crime of parental alienation. All of these were responses to significant serious problems in our schools and are starting to make a difference. As we prepare to start a new year, and an election year, I think it is appropriate to call for safe schools for our kids. Despite frequent attempts to silence these conversations, I see Christie Clark’s battle against bullying and Jill Egizii’s war against parental alienation as following long paths in one direction, with sincere motives. These campaigns are supported by the vast majority. I suspect we will continue to see both these ladies fighting for children regardless of their political campaigns.

Watch Premier Clark’s Call For Safe BC Schools in our legislature.

During the holidays, parental alienation is particularly difficult for families to deal with. Many of you may relate to one of these stories, explaining why Parental Alienation is Child Abuse. Fathers and Families hopes to put an end to stories like these, with equal parenting.

La fête des bulles d’amour – 25 avril, 2013
Ensemble, nous sommes capables de beaucoup.
Il n’y a que 133 jours avant la journée de sensibilisation!

Bubbles Of Love Day – April 25, 2013
Together We Can Make A Difference
Only 133 days till Awareness Day!

Favourite Links Dr. Richard Gardner.com via Dr. Richard A. Warshak.com

COCHEM, GERMANY: The Cochem shared parenting model

L’Action des Nouvelles Conjointes et Nouveaux Conjoints du Québec

ACALPA – UNE ASSOCIATION CONTRE L’ALIÉNATION PARENTALE pour le maintien du lien familial

NOT ALL DADS ARE DEADBEATS in ONTARIO

Canadian Children’s Rights Council – Conseil Canadien des droits des enfants

Canadian Equal Parenting Council – Conseil de L’Égalité Parentale du Canada

CLICK FOR PINK SHIRT DAY 2012	CLICK FOR BC CHILD & YOUTH ADVOCACY	CLICK FOR PA AWARENESS WEBSITE
		CLICK FOR SURREY YOUTH RESOURCES

Parent-Teacher Night

Santa Comes To Town In 1964 Fire Truck

Our annual Christmas tree lighting celebration was Sunday, Nov 25th and we shut down one block in Abbotsford to hold a party from one till three o’clock. A stage was setup and kids from local dance and music studios did their thing, with lots of proud parents and grandparents clapping and cheering them on. The Salvation Army had their kettle out for donations and gave out hot chocolate and cookies to everyone. Save-On-Foods sponsored a tent for a charity called Hunger Response International which was teaching everyone about how to change world hunger and International Family Day May 15th, just a month before Bubbles of Love Day. Hunger Response says they chose May 15 to coincide with Mother’s Day. In Canada and United States Mother’s Day will be Sunday, May 12, 2013, which is close enough to make the connection.

In the undeveloped world, non-government agencies say they have been struggling because when they give money to men, they buy more whiskey and when they give money to women, they feed their whole community. In the developed world, non-government agencies say they have been struggling because when they try to start a men’s center to get men reconnected with their children, men don’t show up. Around the world men are called deadbeats and pigs.

None of this explains men, who don’t smoke or drink and were both employed and parenting their children, and wanted to continue to be parents, but were not allowed to when their children got to Middle school. The fact that so many men can parent babies and young children seems to fly in the face of accusations by NGO’s that all men are useless. It also seems to bring into grave doubt, the argument by Canada’s family court judges that they cannot do anything about the epidemic of fatherless Middle school students. There is a huge disconnect between what Middle school children say about hating their fathers and the obvious warm attachment to dad these children still have after 12 years of living at Mom’s house AND Dad’s house. If there was bonding between 3-7 years, then there still is bonding, but they’re confused, and trapped. You can still reach them. They’re conflicted, and not acting rationally, but the love is not gone. Stay calm and never give up.

It’s Meet The Teacher Night in Abbotsford

It’s our first parent-teacher conference of this school year, and in fact two years, if you count last year’s teachers’ strike. Divorced fathers are often used to being excluded from these get-togethers, and from almost every other aspect of school life as well. Schools say they are neutral in divorce, but children never get to be neutral. If there is conflict, kids struggle to be loyal to both, suffering in the middle, while schools turn a blind eye, usually claiming more comfort with female parents.

I was recently introduced to Pintrest. That’s where I found the photo to the right. There is a poem attached to an apple for parent-teacher night that reads: “An apple for the teacher is really nothing new, except when you remember parents are teachers too.” Apparently, parents just love them!

“One of the most important things you can do for your child is to go to parent-teacher meetings,” said Annie Kidder, executive director of the Ontario parent group, People for Education. Annie says it’s about more than just marks and recommends also asking how your child is doing socially.

Canada AM has some tips for making the most of parent-teacher night.

“When teachers and parents work together with mutual respect and caring, children achieve more at school and are happier to be there.” ~ BCCPAC

The British Columbia Confederation of Parent Advisory Councils says:

Parent-teacher interviews are a valuable tool to help you and your child’s teacher(s) work together for your child’s school success. This is a wonderful opportunity for parents to ask questions and gather information that will help you encourage your children to achieve.

Effective and regular two-way communication between home and school through parent-teacher interviews, report cards, agenda books, telephone calls, Individual Education Plan (IEP) conferences, team meetings, and parent involvement in the classroom and school all support this partnership.

BC Teachers’ Federation on Parent-Teacher Interviews

When parents and teachers communicate well with each other, children benefit and are more likely to have success at school. Although everyone has very busy schedules, the best way to really focus on your child’s progress is in a face-to-face meeting. The parent-teacher interviews provide this opportunity and are an important step in creating positive home and school communications.
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La fête des bulles d’amour – 25 avril, 2013
Ensemble, nous sommes capables de beaucoup.
Il n’y a que 151 jours avant la journée de sensibilisation!

Bubbles Of Love Day – April 25, 2013
Together We Can Make A Difference
Only 151 days till Awareness Day!

Favourite Links Dr. Richard Gardner.com via Dr. Richard A. Warshak.com

COCHEM, GERMANY: The Cochem shared parenting model

L’Action des Nouvelles Conjointes et Nouveaux Conjoints du Québec

ACALPA – UNE ASSOCIATION CONTRE L’ALIÉNATION PARENTALE pour le maintien du lien familial

NOT ALL DADS ARE DEADBEATS in ONTARIO

Canadian Children’s Rights Council – Conseil Canadien des droits des enfants

Canadian Equal Parenting Council – Conseil de L’Égalité Parentale du Canada

CLICK FOR PINK SHIRT DAY 2012	CLICK FOR BC CHILD & YOUTH ADVOCACY	CLICK FOR PA AWARENESS WEBSITE
		CLICK FOR SURREY YOUTH RESOURCES

We Are Malala

Petitioning Nobel Prize Committee

Nobel Peace Prize for Malala

After tens of thousands of Canadians and even more people from around the world signed a petition on Change.org they got every single party leader, including the Prime Minister, to get behind the campaign to unanimously nominate Malala Yusufzai for the Nobel Peace Prize.

This is pretty exciting! When you start a petition you hope for a few hundred signatures and maybe find one or two politicians to support your cause. But imagine all of our federal parties who hardly ever agree on anything, end up supporting the campaign, in this case, for a girl half a world away.

Here is what our political leaders had to say about Malala:

Prime Minister Stephen Harper

“Laureen and I are pleased to support Malala Yousafzai, a determined young woman who has done so much to promote education and women’s rights in her native Pakistan. All Canadians salute her courage and tenacity and wish her well in her recovery.” — Prime Minister Stephen Harper

NDP Leader Thomas Mulcair

“Sixty-four years ago the international community signed onto the Universal Declaration of Human Rights…Sixty-four years later, women are still not equal. Acknowledging Malala would reaffirm the world community’s commitment to women’s empowerment and equality for all persons.” — From the NDP nomination letter by MP Paul Dewar

Liberal Leader Bob Rae

“Around the world, from country to country, we are seeing the emergence of a growing movement in support of Malala…(She) is an inspiration to us all.” — Bob Rae

Green Party Leader Elizabeth May

“I am so inspired by her bravery and idealism. We must all re-commit to ensure the rights of all women and girls.” — Elizabeth May

Bloc Québécois Leader Daniel Paillé

“Tens of thousands of Canadians, Quebecers and people from other countries have signed this petition. Malala’s courage and tenacity have inspired people around the world and awarding her the Nobel Peace Prize would take us one step closer towards a more peaceful and just society.” –Daniel Paillé




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Here’s the New York Times post for Nov 9, 2012 entitled, “Pakistani Girl, Continuing Her Recovery, Reads in Hospital,
By CHRISTINE HAUSER.

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Abbotsford Green Space

I have been going around Abbotsford for the last few weeks talking to everyone about our city parks and green space. There is broad agreement among local schools and churches, (and even businessmen, and municipal politicians) coming together to support our next community garden and green space development. And while it does not quite serve the global community that Malala is reaching, it has the potential to do lots of good things locally, in any city that creates a community garden project. This is a good moment to remind everyone that the Abbotsford Farmer’s Market is staying open this winter, to continue to provide good food from local sources. The next TED video is a eleven-year-old student giving a brave talk about our increasingly industrialized food system.

Universal Children’s Day and Feeding 9 Billion

I received a half dozen comments and pingbacks from my Nov 6th post about Universal Children’s Day, which was nice. I received a note from UNICEF, the United Nations Children’s Fund, which promotes and coordinates this special day, and also works towards improving children’s welfare. Another blogger about the Children’s Day was a PhD candidate from the University of Guelph. He posted the next video from Dr. Evans at the university, who is working on the problem of how to feed nine billion people. Cool video. Check it out.

La fête des bulles d’amour – 25 avril, 2013
Ensemble, nous sommes capables de beaucoup.
Il n’y a que 151 jours avant la journée de sensibilisation!

Bubbles Of Love Day – April 25, 2013
Together We Can Make A Difference
Only 151 days till Awareness Day!

Favourite Links Dr. Richard Gardner.com via Dr. Richard A. Warshak.com

COCHEM, GERMANY: The Cochem shared parenting model

L’Action des Nouvelles Conjointes et Nouveaux Conjoints du Québec

ACALPA – UNE ASSOCIATION CONTRE L’ALIÉNATION PARENTALE pour le maintien du lien familial

NOT ALL DADS ARE DEADBEATS in ONTARIO

Canadian Children’s Rights Council – Conseil Canadien des droits des enfants

Canadian Equal Parenting Council – Conseil de L’Égalité Parentale du Canada

CLICK FOR PINK SHIRT DAY 2012	CLICK FOR BC CHILD & YOUTH ADVOCACY	CLICK FOR PA AWARENESS WEBSITE
		CLICK FOR SURREY YOUTH RESOURCES

Boys To Men

Warren Farrell’s Presentation

at University of Toronto

Boys are experiencing a crisis throughout the industrialized world

“From my perspective, boys and men are in the same family boat as women and girls, and boys are experiencing a boy crisis throughout the industrialized world that is hurting boys, families, the economy and those of our daughters who wish to parent their children with motivated and loving men.” ~ Dr. Warren Farrell on YouTube November 20, 2012

Usually I write about parental alienation. But Dr. Farrell’s attempt to lecture about boys and men is the news of the day and goes naturally with any discussion about equal parenting. The only posters I have ever put up around Abbotsford were to promote Bubbles of Love Day. Everyone was very respectful and kind to me, and I took down the posters weeks later.

In 2001 I was introduced to Dr. Farrell’s 1993 book, The Myth of Male Power. Sociologists used to theorize that men controlled the world’s money, therefore men must have all the power. But in his book, Dr. Farrell’s examples – and there are many – of how men do not control their own lives, are intriguing. One of our local newspapers wrote exceptional praise for this award-winning, international best-selling author on the front page of the book:

“Extraordinary power and eloquence, which derive from the author’s ability to retain his compassion for women while identifying with male suffering… a remarkable inspiration for those embarking on the rocky road to change.” ~ Vancouver Sun

In the mid 1970’s Dr. Farrell began to notice that divorces were on the increase and children were beginning to have a failure to launch when they didn’t have their fathers involved. He began to investigate that and recognizes, and writes about, the importance of father involvement.

Feminists said that Warren Farrell is the perfect example of what’s wrong with the so-called Mens’ Rights Movement. Dr. Farrell, the former chairperson of the National Organization of Women, understands feminism and calls for equality, recognizing the importance of both genders. That is what feminism calls for, isn’t it?

The Education Of Our Sons

We Need to Create a Parliamentary Council on Boys

In March 2009, President Obama signed an Executive Order creating the White House Council on Women and Girls. “The purpose of this Council is to ensure that American women and girls are treated fairly in all matters of public policy,” said President Obama. Today, Dr. Warren Farrell is leading the charge of a new proposal, to create a White House Council on Boys to Men.

The Bi-Partisan Commission

A commission was created by Dr. Farrell in 2010 when he pulled together a bi-partisan group of leading American authors, academics, and practitioners. You can learn more about the commission’s creation here, see the bios of the commission members here or read commission member’s articles here.

“There is a lot of scientific evidence that the status quo doesn’t work.” —Arne Duncan, U.S. Secretary of Education

American children are falling behind most G-20 nations in educational achievement, and U.S. boys are falling well behind girls. Higher educational achievements of boys and men has been a given for so long, it has been easy to miss the reversal of this trend over the last thirty years. This graph makes that reversal clear.

The Decline of Boys’ School Performance: A Statistical Snapshot

Fortunately, teacher training and efforts on behalf of girls have helped girls in almost every area —including teachers being aware of when they were catering to more assertive hand-raising by boys. Unfortunately, we have been unaware of the pendulum’s swing: even a decade ago, only 19% of girls felt teachers do not listen to them — versus 31% of boys.

Boys increasingly face problems in reading and writing, motivation to be in school, motivation to do homework after school, grades, standardized test scores, violence, and criminal activity. More boys are dropouts, in special education, and expelled, despite being more medicated to mitigate those problems. Perhaps as a result of all of the above, female college students and female college graduates, now far outnumber their male counterparts — a trend that shows no sign of leveling off.

Saving the ‘Lost Boys’ of Higher Education

Higher-education officials have been wringing their hands about our own “lost boys” for years. And yet the flip-flopped gender gap continues to widen: In April 2011, the U.S. Census Bureau released data showing that, for the first time, women have sailed past men in obtaining both bachelor’s degrees and advanced college degrees. The report sparked some discussion about today’s shifting gender roles and the burgeoning ranks of stay-at-home dads, but over all, much of the commentary has had a matter-of-fact tone. Thanks to the likes of Richard Whitmire’s 2010 book Why Boys Fail and The Atlantic’s exhaustive cover story “The End of Men,” Americans, it seems, are getting used to the idea that men are on the decline.

Abundant Struggles of Boys Regardless of Race or Socioeconomic Status

The lack of progress may stem from our sense that males hold all the cards—an impression undiminished by the abundant research documenting their struggles, which affect boys and men regardless of race or socioeconomic status. Contemplated in the abstract, the image of hard-working women giving a bunch of masculine underachievers their comeuppance after eons of patriarchy might seem just. But the realities of the new gender gap are nothing to celebrate.

For cash-strapped colleges and universities, the notion that roughly half of their potential “customers” are more likely to quit school early or skip higher education altogether is troubling indeed.

All of us ought to find this troubling as well, regardless of our gender or political persuasion. Amid a global marketplace brimming with hungry competitors, can we afford to foot the bill for generations of lost boys, in the face of looming unemployment and debt?

Local Blogger Goes To School

Girl Writes What has wonderful news. She says high school and universities – some from Canada – are calling to ask permission to use her videos about boys and men in their classrooms. Naturally, she was honoured, but she wanted to point out that she was just a waitress and her content was not entirely new. Many of her ideas came from reading books and from other MRA’s (Men’s Rights Activists) on the Internet. Isn’t that how sociology professors become experts too? Given all the bad news in this post about boys struggles, some good news is welcome. The next video is an explanation for our society’s ability to tolerate the level of hatred expressed towards Dr. Farrell on Nov 20, 2012 in Toronto and the attempts by feminists to demonize all men. Girl Writes What made this 20 minute video before making lunch for her son. It was posted on Feb 21, 2012.

The Theme of Movember 2012

Deluxe Change Agents and Purveyors of Knowledge

Knowledge shared from one generation to the next and wisdom passed down by one’s dad or father figure shapes who we become

Over the past two years, Movember has paid homage to the Modern Gentleman and Country Gentleman, exploring his appreciation and penchant for luxury items, etiquette, craftsmanship, pride and honour.

In 2012, we are getting down to the raw hard truths of the past two years and taking a look, quite simply, at what it means to be a better man. 2012 is the year of Movember & Sons.

Knowledge shared from one generation to the next and wisdom passed down by one’s dad or father figure, plays a meaningful role in shaping who we become. This learning continues throughout life, but also reaches a point at which the exchange is reversed and insight is passed back up the chain.

The collective knowledge of generations gives us great power to avoid mistakes of the past, plan thoughtfully for the future and to become the best version of one’s self.

This Movember, we will encourage all men to seek and share knowledge and wisdom with loved ones, to learn their family health history and predispositions and to understand the risks they face. These simple actions can have a significant impact of the quality and longevity of your journey through this life.

Last year, Movember had its most successful year to date with over 850,000 Mo Bros and Mo Sistas across the globe raising a phenomenal $CAD 125.7 million for prostate cancer. The hairy movement will continue to grow in 2012, as 21 countries across five continents unite to have an everlasting impact on the face of men’s health.

Knowledge is power; the time to learn and grow is now. Prepare yourself my son.

La fête des bulles d’amour – 25 avril, 2013
Ensemble, nous sommes capables de beaucoup.
Il n’y a que 152 jours avant la journée de sensibilisation!

Bubbles Of Love Day – April 25, 2013
Together We Can Make A Difference
Only 152 days till Awareness Day!

Favourite Links Dr. Richard Gardner.com via Dr. Richard A. Warshak.com

COCHEM, GERMANY: The Cochem shared parenting model

L’Action des Nouvelles Conjointes eNouveaux Conjoints du Québec

ACALPA – UNE ASSOCIATION CONTRE L’ALIÉNATION PARENTALE pour le maintien du lien familial

NOT ALL DADS ARE DEADBEATS in ONTARIO

Canadian Children’s Rights Council – Conseil Canadien des droits des enfants

Canadian Equal Parenting Council – Conseil de L’Égalité Parentale du Canada

CLICK FOR PINK SHIRT DAY 2012	CLICK FOR BC CHILD & YOUTH ADVOCACY	CLICK FOR PA AWARENESS WEBSITE
		CLICK FOR SURREY YOUTH RESOURCES

A Child’s Best Interest

“I think the goal is overall student safety… school safety… but you know, I think it’s just awareness.”
~ Aaron McKenzie, Vice-Principal Stanley Humphries Secondary School.

B.C.’s ERASE Bullying Training Sessions

In one of his first appearances as the province’s new education minister, Don McRae said 15,000 educators and community partners will receive training over the next five years, and the first round started in October. The ERASE Bullying strategy will ensure all public and independent schools have a consistent approach to the prevention of bullying, he added.

The anti-bullying training sessions to learn about our new approach to school safety are multi-disciplinary. As I am writing this post, you can look at the video at the bottom of this paragraph you will first be given a chance to hear a 2 minute video of the Education Minister talking about our new plan to increase by 50% the number of high school students going directly into the trades. The BC Ministry of Education is spending $75 Millon dollars on hiring high school trades instructors. If you want to quickly skip to the next video in the playlist, first click anywhere in the video to start playback, then on the YouTube control bar at the bottom of the video, the second arrow to appear to the right of the play arrow is the fast forward arrow. The government of BC will probably continue to add videos to this playlist, but you can fast forward in the playlist to find “BC’s ERASE Bullying Training Sessions.” You will see Susan Wilson of the British Columbia Confederation of Parent Advisory Councils at counter 1:30 of this ERASE Bullying video, saying parent leaders need to know school protocol so we can help parents through these difficult situations involving the safety of their children. After her, comes Holly Kavanaugh, a school psychologist from School District #57, Prince George, BC. Ms. Kavanaugh says the violence at-risk assessment is a wonderful foundation and method of analyzing all threats that might be occurring in schools so that we are not missing blatant indicators that a youth is on a path of self-harm or harming others. This framework is good. It’s also an opportunity to connect with our community partners who will be doing the same work with us, but looking through a different lens. The in-school partners are parents, teachers, principals, and school psychologists. Some of the out-of-school partner agencies listed in the video, are the police school liaison officers, and workers from child and youth mental health, and the Canadian Center for Threat Assessment and Trauma Response.

The Vancouver Sun newspaper says the B.C. Teachers’ Federation, which has been lobbying the government for years to improve anti-bullying measures and strengthen codes of conduct in schools, was also represented at the anti-bullying forum, even though the strategy does not address the union’s call for specific policies in all schools to protect lesbian, gay, bisexual and transgender students. I think as with parental alienation, there has been wide acceptance across the continent from diverse groups of the need to protect all children, and pointing out that LGBT students are among other high-risk groups for bullying. It makes sense that as child advocates, the teachers union would be in favour of protecting our children.

SFU associate criminology professor Brenda Morrison described ERASE Bullying as a step in the right direction, but said she worries about the emphasis on threat assessment and codes of conduct. “It sounds like a ‘zero tolerance’ strategy,” she said, noting that U.S. schools tried that approach for years but are now moving away from it.

“Instead, many states and school districts are ramping up community engagement policies and non-punitive approaches to addressing the problem. This includes more emphasis on developing social and emotional intelligence and literacy in schools, along with implementing restorative justice approaches,” Morrison, who is also director for the university’s Centre for Restorative Justice, said in an email to the newspaper.

Read more: B.C. educators get lessons about school violence as part of anti-bullying initiative
By Janet Steffenhagen, Vancouver Sun September 14, 2012

And check out the ERASE Bullying website geared towards parents and students.

Abbotsford School Suspensions Dropping

Drugs are still the primary reason for discipline

CLICK IMAGE for Top Ten Health Concerns For Kids

Abbotsford school suspensions are on a steady downward trend, according to a report presented to the board of education November 12, 2012.

However, drugs continue to be the primary reason discipline is meted out to students, the data shows. Total suspensions, both in and out of school, have declined by 30 per cent since 2007/08, said SD34 spokesman Dave Stephen.

Drugs were the number one reason for out-of-school suspensions with more than 160 students disciplined last year. That number was a five-year high for the offence, which has resulted in 100-plus secondary students punished annually, with the exception of 2010.

Defiance was second reason for suspension with 110 students punished, followed by fighting and bullying at 80 and 60 students, respectively.

The bulk of the suspensions, the larger number involving boys, took place in Grades 9 and 10, according to the report.

“I think you’ll find that trend is the same in districts across the province,” said Stephen.

Read the rest of the Abbotsford Times article here.

Also an interesting link, courtesy of my friend Clint, and CNN’s chief medical correspondent, Dr. Sanjay Gupta, who tells us to start the national conversation and the conversation in our own families to prevent a deadly overdose from prescription drugs, because prescription drugs now kill more people in America each year than car crashes.

“People are dying in large numbers every year because they do not know that if you drink four or five beers and then pop an Oxycontin, for example, it shuts down the part of your brain that tells your body to breathe while you are asleep.” – Former President Bill Clinton

Abbotsford Parent-Teacher News

District Parent Advisory Council Meets Thursday, Nov 22, 7pm

Abbotsford Times Web Extra: Facebook Freebie To Help Local Kids (www.facebook.com/AbbotsfordTimes “Play Your Part”)

At our last meeting, a draft DPAC Constitution was provided by a guest. There are two major revisions in this draft Constitution. The first to remove March and June meetings from our schedule. This is part of a larger movement across Abbotsford to reduce the number of public meetings about education. The second revision is to acknowledge, that we all commonly use electronic communications, like this website. Do you think parents would vote to reduce public meetings about education & then start Canadian Charter schools? Do you think, given the importance of education to our global future, it is in children’s best interest to reduce public discussion about education? The government of British Columbia is trying to open up discussion, it is the teachers who are trying to shut down Parent-Teacher meetings. None of the parents present realized that the entire DPAC executive had resigned in May 2012 or that no motions could be made or votes held until elections had been held first.

Why would anyone want to remove June meetings from Abbotsford’s DPAC schedule?

If our executive resigns each May, as it did this year, then June must be our election month each year, right? In past years, the DPAC Chairperson has declared that we never hold meetings in June. The DPAC Constitution was never posted or handed out to new Representatives or even to our schools and rarely were executives elected. Then in January the DPAC chairperson would tell us that the chair would appoint someone to fill empty positions. This is how our present DPAC chairperson was appointed to the position. In fact both our true Constitution dated May 27, 2004 and our draft Constitution dated May 24, 2012, describe the same election process and the same Annual General Meeting in MAY.

At Section 11 Sub-section 1 – Election of Executive Officers both Constitutions state:
– The Executive shall be elected by the Representatives, from among the elected or appointed Representatives or other persons so nominated by the PAC’s in May of each year. It sounds like not only does the DPAC Chairperson not need to be a DPAC Representative, they might not even need to be a parent! If a DPAC Chairperson is not a DPAC Representative, then they cannot vote for themselves of anyone else in an election.
Sub-section 2 states:
– Call for Nominations shall be made at the first meeting in April. Nominations shall remain open until immediately before the election (in May). This means a new executive stands down for one month, while the old executive runs it’s final June meeting and the new term of office starts in July.
Sub-section 3 states:
– In the event that only one nomination is received for any Executive position, a “yes” or “no” vote will be taken. If a majority of “no” votes is received, the position will be considered vacant.
Sub-section 4 states:
– In the event of a vacancy, the Council shall elect a new officer. If a vacancy occurs after December 1st, the Executive may appoint someone to fill the position to complete the term.
Sub-section 5 states:
– Elections shall be conducted by the Nominating Committee Chairperson.
Sub-section 6 states:
– Scrutineers shall be appointed as required by the Nominating Committee Chairperson at the time of elections.

Section 12

Kristen Thompson and husband Dylan showing off their ‘staches on their wedding day.

– The term of office shall commence in July of each year.

The DPAC executive did go around Abbotsford encouraging all schools to update their Constitutions to allow for electronic communication, but I think they were too busy working on the Developmental Assets Project and the DPAC Constitution has remained unchanged since 2004. Not only have the present DPAC executive breached our Constitution by failing to hold meetings in March, June, and September and by failing to hold elections, but also by failing to update our Constitution to reflect our common use of modern communication technology.

Modern Electronic Communications

The new email clause is added to Section 10 Sub-section 4 of our draft DPAC Constitution, stating:

When time is limited, a response using social media or email can be utilized. This provides a faster option for responses and reflects ways to communicate with more parents on mass. A full report will be provided to the membership at the next general meeting.

Our DPAC Constitution has another amazing clause at Section 8 Sub-section 2 – Meetings: There shall be an Annual General Meeting for the purpose of elections of Officers held in May of each year and additional general meetings shall be held at least once a month except December. Sub-section 5 is even more amazing, stating all topics of discussion at Executive Meetings shall be considered public information unless unanimously agreed beforehand.

It sounds difficult to operate under our DPAC Constitution. We need at least ten parents, who have been elected DPAC Representative for their school and who want to get involved in public education and make things better for our children.

Equal Parenting vs Lone Parenting

Linda Gottlieb’s Amicus Brief in Support of 50-50 Custody

In her Amicus Brief in support of 50-50 Custody, Linda Gottlieb simply writes about the principles by which any child will be devastated by divorce. Linda points out that the customary visitation/parenting arrangement conveys to children that the residential parent is more vital and important to them, possesses more authority, and is probably entitled to garner more respect.

The self-esteem of the child of the same gender as the non-residential parent will likely be diminished as a result. And the child of the same gender as the residential parent will likely develop a sense of superiority over the other gender. In fact, it has been my decades-long experience that residential parents become empowered by the imbalance in time with their children in their favour because this justifies their sense of entitlement to make unilateral decisions regarding their children’s education, medical care, and social activities – and not always in the best interests of the children.

You can read the full brief here.

La fête des bulles d’amour – 25 avril, 2013
Ensemble, nous sommes capables de beaucoup.
Il n’y a que 154 jours avant la journée de sensibilisation!

Bubbles Of Love Day – April 25, 2013
Together We Can Make A Difference
Only 154 days till Awareness Day!

Favourite Links Dr. Richard Gardner.com via Dr. Richard A. Warshak.com

COCHEM, GERMANY: The Cochem shared parenting model

L’Action des Nouvelles Conjointes eNouveaux Conjoints du Québec

ACALPA – UNE ASSOCIATION CONTRE L’ALIÉNATION PARENTALE pour le maintien du lien familial

NOT ALL DADS ARE DEADBEATS in ONTARIO

Canadian Children’s Rights Council – Conseil Canadien des droits des enfants

Canadian Equal Parenting Council – Conseil de L’Égalité Parentale du Canada

CLICK FOR PINK SHIRT DAY 2012	CLICK FOR BC CHILD & YOUTH ADVOCACY	CLICK FOR PA AWARENESS WEBSITE
		CLICK FOR SURREY YOUTH RESOURCES

Lighter Alienation

Humour and Funnies

The lighter side of parental alienation, and men’s (and women’s) health.

Healthier Men, One Moustache At A Time

The Story of the Mo Farmer and the 420,000 Celebrities Around The World Who Support Movember

Movember’s Muse – ‘If’ by Rudyard Kipling

And what’s more my son, you’ll be a man…

Breast Friends

Breast Cancer is the most common cancer affecting Canadian women. But 40% of breast cancers can be prevented though lifestyle changes. Click on the image below for a list of breast cancer prevention and risk assessment centers in the Greater Vancouver area.

Prostate Cancer Symptoms

Prostate cancer is the most common cancer in Canadian men. It usually grows slowly and can often be cured or managed successfully.

Prostate cancer can be detected early using a PSA test and a digital rectal exam. However, research does not clearly show if the benefits of testing for prostate cancer outweigh the harms. While scientists search for a new test, the Canadian Cancer Society recommends fifty year old men talk to their doctor, especially if they are having symptoms like difficult, painful or frequent urination.

M is for Montréal

It’s the curve… the funny, sexy, masculine side of things.

If you are in Quebec this month you can check in on Justin to see if he got his Mo on this year. You could slip over to Ottawa, because Rick Mercer says he would love to see Steven Harper grow a moustache for Movember.

Or if all the politicians are busy, you could go to Club Soda in Montreal for five hours of music and comedy, celebrating men’s health.

I have already asked John Sutherland, the chairman of Abbotsford’s school board to grow a moustache with me, but he says he will only grow a playoff beard, when the hockey players go back to the ice.

Which Canadian would you like to see grow a Movember moustache?

M is for Montréal

Listen to this YouTube Rockumentary: M for Montreal 2011 to get the international flavour of bands from everywhere, Ireland, Australia, Argentina, Brazil, and all over Canada.
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Citizens’ Initiative

Signature collection point at The Body Shop in Kluuvi shopping centre, Helsinki, for one of the first citizens’ initiatives in Finland, about banning fur farming.

In political science, an initiative (also known as a popular or citizens’ initiative) is a means by which a petition signed by a certain minimum number of registered voters can force a public vote (plebiscite). The vote may be on a proposed statute, constitutional amendment, charter amendment or ordinance, or, in its minimal form, to simply oblige the executive or legislative bodies to consider the subject by submitting it to the order of the day. It is a form of direct democracy.

The initiative may take the form of either the direct initiative or indirect initiative. Under the direct initiative, a measure is put directly to a vote after being submitted by a petition. Under the indirect initiative, a measure is first referred to the legislature, and then put to a popular vote only if not enacted by the legislature. In United States usage, a popular vote on a specific measure is referred to as a referendum only when originating with the legislature. Such a vote is known, when originating in the initiative process, as an “initiative,” “ballot measure” or “proposition.” In New Zealand a vote initiated by the public is called a citizen initiated referendum.

Because parents are having such difficulty getting around judges and politicians, they have started placing measures on the ballot to create equal parenting laws after divorce. This would seem to be a method that makes judges and politicians as irrelevant as divorced parents often feel these officials already are to the process of rebuilding a life after divorce.

Grassroots Democracy and Enhanced Citizen Initiative:

Canada’s First Step towards Direct Democracy

British Columbia remains the only province in Canada, since 1995, to have adopted a citizen initiative law

British Columbia has a citizen initiative law known as the Recall and Initiative Act. The original proposal was put to voters in a referendum held in October 1991 and was supported by over 83% of voters. It was subsequently put into force by the incoming NDP government securing signatures of 10% of registered voters in each riding throughout British Columbia. The first successful referendum to be held under this legislation was decided in September 2011 on the subject of repealing the Harmonized Sales Tax. Details of its use in BC are available on the Elections BC website.

History of BC Initiatives

The Chief Electoral Officer has approved eight initiative applications since 1995. The applications addressed a wide range of topics, from electoral reform to balancing the provincial budget. Only one initiative petition, the HST initiative, has obtained the required number of signatures to pass.

If we are going to change the British Columbia Family Relations Act or the Family Law Act to include a presumption of equal parenting between mothers and fathers unless one of them has been found unfit then a citizen’s initiative, could bypass politicians who are obviously not eager to give up a lucrative industry like divorce. We should try to collect a half million signatures, 15% from each of the 85 electoral district in the province in 90 days, just like Mr. Vander Zalm did when he shut down the hated HST tax. In Walsh County, North Dakota, Mitch Sanderson used a citizen’s initiative to create an equal parenting law in his county. Politicians fought it all the way, but voters overwhelmingly supported it.

Tuesday morning, I called Walsh County and asked for the ballot language so I could apply it in British Columbia. The clerk offered to email me, the original petition from which a very similar ballot question was created. It’s only 10:00 a.m. and the petition has not arrived yet. But the American Coalition for Fathers and Children has also explained the anatomy of an initiative here.

Summary of BC Initiative Petitions

Vander Zalm’s fight against the HST put him on Santa’s nice list.

Here’s a State-by-State List of Initiative and Referendum Provisions.

The Sexiest (Divorced) Man Alive

I stole this idea from Huffington Post and People’s Magazine, because lately we often present men in plays and movies as smelly, hairy, and silly as if that were a bad thing. The writers ask, what’s the point of finding a sexy man if he’s already married and won’t even look at you? Shouldn’t the award for the sexiest man alive go to a divorcé? I’m just saying…

La fête des bulles d’amour – 25 avril, 2013
Ensemble, nous sommes capables de beaucoup.
Il n’y a que 163 jours avant la journée de sensibilisation!

Bubbles Of Love Day – April 25, 2013
Together We Can Make A Difference
Only 163 days till Awareness Day!

Favourite Links Dr. Richard Gardner.com via Dr. Richard A. Warshak.com

COCHEM, GERMANY: The Cochem shared parenting model

L’Action des Nouvelles Conjointes eNouveaux Conjoints du Québec

ACALPA – UNE ASSOCIATION CONTRE L’ALIÉNATION PARENTALE pour le maintien du lien familial

NOT ALL DADS ARE DEADBEATS in ONTARIO

Canadian Children’s Rights Council – Conseil Canadien des droits des enfants

Canadian Equal Parenting Council – Conseil de L’Égalité Parentale du Canada

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