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A Tale of Two Nurses

Chapter 1: The Period



Charles DickensIt was the best of times, it was the worst of times, it was the spring of hope, it was the winter of despair… we were all going direct to Heaven, we were all going direct the other way – in short it was so far like the present period.

There was a Prime Minister with a large jaw and a Madame Chief Justice with a fair face. It was the year of Our Lord two thousand. In Canada there was scarcely an amount of order and protection to justify much national boasting.

Fathers in London’s gaols fought battles with their turnkeys, and the majesty of the law fired blunderbusses in among them, loaded with rounds of shot and ball. The divorce judge, ever busy and ever worse than useless, was in constant requisition, now stringing up long rows of miscellaneous deadbeat dads, now arbitrarily hanging a homemaker on Saturday who had been detained on Tuesday without a warrant. There were stories heard from people living with mental health problems and illnesses, their families, and the many dedicated people who worked with them across the country that moved all, angered all, and inspired all.

Schools had a statutory duty to report child abuse and claimed to be in the best position to do so but having absolutely no resources to identify child abuse, eventually declared that it was difficult to tell when this duty to report exactly existed. Teachers’ professional associations filled their complaints departments with union leaders to obstruct abuse investigations. Nine out of thirteen provinces and territories routinely took a half decade to complete investigations and serious results were always withheld from parents. Teachers were better protected than children.

Teachers Regulation Act 2012

Churches reported child abuse first to their insurance companies but never to police. By the time these ancient sanctuaries finally apologized for their harshness and child abuse, they appeared to be dwindling and closing.

Bar associations claimed the broad nature of the Legal Profession Act decreed the purpose of law societies was to “uphold and protect the public interest in the practice of law,” but not only failed to achieve it’s far-reaching obligations of overseeing the qualifications and conduct of it’s members, but also missed a higher goal of improving the administration of justice and keeping up with broader societal trends. In fact, bar associations in most provinces actively argued against almost all new child protection laws, except proposals that finally suggested tiny statutes of limitations on reporting child abuse be made unlimited because it was known children took decades to report their abuse. Judges and lawyers were arrested for everything from assault and rape to sexting photos and tax evasion.

All these things, and a thousand like them, came to pass in and close upon the dear old year two thousand. In the midst of it all, two young nurses were raising children. Nursing was the most trusted profession in the land. Both had earned a Bachelor of Science in Nursing degree from fine Canadian universities back in the eighties.

Canadian Constitution

The Canadian Constitution limits vague words like “best interest” and arbitrary laws that randomly apprehend children.

The Constitution of Canada had just been repatriated and every school, labour union, and law court in the land declared itself a feminist institution. At school, both young nursing students were required by law to study the theory of feminism. It was the opinion of the decision-makers that female professions were the best to indoctrinate including nurses, teachers, and lawyers, especially since the ranks of female lawyers had suddenly swelled to half. This went on until universities decided feminist theory was obsolete. The government created a Legal Equality Action Fund to pay lawyers to run strategic and unending litigation for the benefit of women, until this was declared harmful. Any unfortunate males who wandered into these female professions were still required to study feminist theory although they were told by their professors that men could never be feminists because they could never understand what it was like to be a woman. Some nurses tried to start a new theory, claiming feminism required all patients to be treated equally.

Both nurses worked in big-city hospitals in Canada’s west coast temperate rain forest. One was a cardiac nurse and the government, needing critical care workers, paid for most of a Bachelor of Technology in Nursing, except the practicum, to reduce the nurse’s mobility. The other nurse was a teaching and learning expert in community health. Both nurses were married and raising two babies. Both families struggled with their own health concerns.

Chapter 2: The Fugitive



One ill spouse ran away with their babies. The first child abduction alert system to seek community help would not be created until 2002 in Alberta and would not be enhanced to use modern social media systems until 2016 in Ontario. The British Columbia Ministry of Children and Families threatened to apprehend the children if the nurse did not take their run-away ill spouse to court within ten days. This threat felt like an assault. The Ministry had a statutory duty to apprehend their children itself. The failure to report this duty was a non-disclosure which unduly enriched the Ministry and failed to protect the children.

The court found these facts to be an emergency and ordered the children home to their beds. The Royal Canadian Mounted Police knew where the kidnap den was and left the children in this stressful flight for ten more days. The nurse stopped nursing and paid a female process server one hundred dollars to serve the emergency court order on the absconding parent. Attempting to avoid service, the fugitive parent tucked a baby under each arm, like two footballs, and ran away again in to the dark rainy city. The Provincial Court of British Columbia and the Royal Canadian Mounted Police still did nothing, despite the process servers sworn affidavit of service to the court. The nurse telephoned the kidnap hideout and read a bedtime story to their children every night. The fugitive parent approached the Supreme Court of British Columbia from hiding for an order to cancel the Provincial Court hearing, making the fugitive the Supreme court applicant and demanding child support. Instead of shunting this out-of-control parent back to face the child protection hearing, the Supreme Court claimed some bizarre rule that said any party can cancel a child protection hearing as long as prepared to pay for it, and offered legal aid to pay for it. This nonsense law would be removed from legal books only a decade later, but not soon enough to save these children. The ill parent, struggling with two badly injured hips and knees from a work injury, was initially declared unfit but granted a year to rehabilitate. The nurse was ordered to pay child support from the very beginning, even though parenting the vast majority of the time and single-handedly whenever the ill parent was hospitalized. Warned by the court that the ill parent was trying to seize custody, even though unfit, the nurse struggled to parent and co-parent. The Supreme Court forgot it had a duty to report an unfit parent seeking sole custody.

The nurse-parent at first raised the babies as a single parent but always faced a court that felt it’s first job was to make more business for itself. The run-away parent was encouraged to fight in court for years, although never applying for divorce. Three years later the rehab parent was granted equal parenting time and a divorce decreed, even though neither parent had applied for divorce. At the turn of the century the divorce statute was an application-based law. The conversion of a child protection hearing created by the non-disclosing Minister of Children and Families and the non-disclosing Provincial Court to an arbitrary and unlawful divorce hearing created by no one was the Supreme Court of British Columbia acting beyond the scope of the law for the purpose of undue enrichment, and worse, failing to find the best interest of children.

Like the Provincial Court, the Supreme Court of British Columbia also failed to report to the nurse both that it had a statutory duty to report this child abuse emergency to the director of child protection and to finally hold or continue the public child protection hearing the Provincial Court was arbitrarily and unlawfully ignoring. This first parent-nurse was declared the loser of this unlawful hearing and ordered to pay both lawyers, including paying the legal aid lawyer as if she were a private lawyer. This legal aid lawyer knew the rehab parent was living with a person the court had already declared to be dangerous, but misspoke herself and misled the court to win her client even more parenting time. This legal aid lawyer also forgot the statutory duty to report known child abuse. She was eventually disbarred and her files handed over to the British Columbia Law Society.

Vancouver Nurses

Nurses are the worst parents in Canada according to the Supreme Court of British Columbia.

This first nurse-parent was told by a high court judge that nurses were the worst parents in Canada because they were always tired and never home. Even though both spouses were shift workers, the Honourable Justice arbitrarily focused on only the nurse-parent. His Honourable Lordship considered nurses schedules to be harsh. Nursing leaders at the time considered the childcare schedule created by the Supreme Court of British Columbia to be harsh, but unlike the court, tried to, and eventually fully accommodated this schedule. The parent-nurse resigned after a half dozen years of self-made shift trades, even though a dozen years later the entire province would create a British Columbia Responsive Shift Scheduling Working Group, but again not soon enough to save these children. The former nurse lost the privilege to drive for approximately a decade supposedly in response to being unable to pay the former child support. This punishment was longer than the longest ban placed on drunk drivers who killed children. Fourteen years into the future, courts would order that child support could be reduced and paid directly to older teens. But for now, the court ordered that if there ever was a small nursing pension paid to the former nurse that the former fugitive would receive half.

Chapter 3: Rehab



The second ill spouse was severely injured in a car accident at an exit ramp from the Trans-Canada Highway where it runs through the lush green Fraser River Valley, leading to one of the five largest cities in British Columbia. Having some degree of paralysis, this rehab parent was given no accommodation or chance to rehabilitate, but instantly found too ill to ever parent again. The second parent nurse was declared the instant winner of all parenting time, relying on Canada’s Divorce Act. The ill spouse was granted a telephone call to their babies every Sunday and lived for these short minutes of parenting time. The parent-nurse scooped their children, went nursing in Northern Alberta, yelling angrily at their children during each Sunday telephone call to limit even this brief contact. The second ill spouse knew the first nurse-parent had experience fighting in court for years, trying to enforce parenting time and asked for help to enforce Sunday contact.

While these two alienated parents were able to provide each other with support and encouragement, neither was ever able to enforce parenting time ordered by the courts, despite their children’s entire childhoods spent seeking help from the Canadian legal system. It was a time when family courts were unqualified for their purpose, caring more about money than children. These two parents did a far, far better thing, than they had ever done. They were fit, willing parents, standing up to a corrupt and unfit legal system that claimed to have a crystal ball that foretold which children to apprehend without any credible evidence. According to court records of this time, almost all children of divorce were apprehended without benefit of medical or legal counsel – just a judge and two stressed parents. Both these nursing families were failed by their family doctors, the police, the school board, the courts, and what was called the health system at the time.

The first parent-nurse investigated the local school board for being involved in this child abuse. The Kindergarten teacher said she felt more comfortable with female parents than males. The Grade 8 teacher told their oldest child not to live with the nurse. The Grade 12 teacher tried to prevent the nurse from attending high school graduation, suggesting maybe a restraining order existed. At first the school board refused to co-operate with the investigation, claiming there was no abuse, then disclosed 200 pages of notes, withholding the rest, claiming third parties were involved. No one ever learned what kind of abuse third parties perpetrate. Like the other agents of Canada, the school board forgot it had a duty to report child abuse, although the judge gave a reminder. The nurse finallyCFK-poster-e learned that Canadian school boards have no authority to enforce restraining orders against third parties, although this was two years after being honoured with the Parent Volunteer Award at the graduation ceremony.

The stress of losing one parent for no reason except to create a divorce industry was a child mental health problem. The downsizing of Riverview Mental Hospital in Coquitlam continued through the nineties until it was closed in 2002 and things got far worse for any families facing mental health concerns. A decade and a half later every Kindergarten and Grade one and two teacher across the country would be discussing child mental health on electronic media, there would be Kids Help Phones, Gay-Straight Alliances, Anti-Bully campaigns, and provincial governments would create mental health strategies and commissions. The Canadian Pediatric Society and the American Psychological Association would publish extensive and helpful notes on how Borderline, Narcissistic, and Anti-Social Personality Disorders contributed to parental alienation.

Notes and Questions


by Kevin Pedersen

Both the nurses in this modern fable were fathers and obviously responsible and fighting to be deeply involved parents. Both the rehab parents were mothers and obviously responsible and fighting to be deeply involved parents. The main features of these tragedies were highly stressed children surrounded by parents in decades of high conflict.

These accounts raise so many questions: Why were parents fighting for their own children against anyone, except maybe the Director of Child Protection? Were only some unfit mothers allowed to rehabilitate? Were some parents too disabled to be accommodated and allowed to rehabilitate? Did a broken back or paralysis prevent parenting? Did deafness, blindness or wheelchair use prevent parenting in an era of government ordered and funded accessibility? Did a severe, chronic mental illness always prevent parenting like a physical illness? Did incarceration always prevent parenting? Why did Canada pay to train parents to be nurses and soldiers, if decision-makers believed they were creating the worst parents in the land? What did Canada mean by rehabilitation andMagna_Carta02 accommodation?

And of course the class action question: why weren’t ALL unfit parents accommodated and allowed to rehabilitate, including any parents with harsh nursing schedules? Wouldn’t rehabilitated parents truly be in children’s best interest rather than arbitrarily apprehending children unlawfully from one parent in each separated family? Some suggested the Magna Carta of 1125 was the greatest constitutional document of all time – a great charter of freedom that set a limit on this type of Draconian arbitrariness.

Others asked if the advancement of nurses needed to happen at the expense of other shift workers? Or if the advancement of male parents needed to happen at the expense of female parents? Those who had once been feminists asked if the advancement of women needed to happen at the expense of men? Dangerous lawyers, who had always sought to destroy their opposing parties, pondered if it was true that Canada had always accommodated since the time of Samuel Champlain, while hanging shingles with the word Mediator. Attorneys General tried to divert reasonable parents out of court. Reforms happened at a snails pace.

Madame Chief Justice

The Rt Hon Madame Chief Justice of Canada believes that we have always accommodated since the days of Samuel Champlain.

Some parents might see parts of themselves in these stories, because these are common tales in family court. I want to encourage and remind ALL parents, both the targets of these group attacks and systemic discrimination, who may have been told they didn’t try hard enough to stop the decades of alienation and even bullies who endlessly seek alliances to alienate their own children, that there is a difference between feeling shame and beating ourselves up and feeling hope, and being positive.

Target parents will probably never get an apology from those who have committed generations of child abuse. But today in British Columbia any parent who threatens to drive over people or to use a vehicle to kidnap a child will instantly lose both their driver’s licence and all of their parenting time for thirty to sixty days. Police agencies operate school programs with names like Cops For Kids Safety. Community Services agencies operate parent programs with names like Re-Connect With Your Kids. Judges can order parent-child reunification programs for targets and send alienating parents into Victim Impact Programs to be taught empathy and accountability. An inability to learn either would be a guide to the level of alienation.

We can also make living amends by thinking of our families in terms like, “what am I doing today to make sure these things never happen again to children?” Try to find some nice way to commemorate Parental Alienation Awareness Day, even if it’s just a relaxing walk in the park or to the corner and back.

Today is April 24, 2016 – only one more day till International Parental Alienation Awareness Day and Bubbles of Love Day. The purpose of this writing is to increase awareness of the broader questions and wider issues surrounding parental alienation.

All characters appearing in this work are fictitious. Any resemblance to real persons, living or dead, is purely coincidental.

Samuel-de-champlain-s

Samuel de Champlain founded Quebec City 1608

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Springing Forward

Bif

Dr. Bif Beats Adversity

In her Women’s Day address, rocker Bif Naked said she found two very powerful effects when helping other women through adversity. The first was laughter. Bif said she always tried to get people laughing even when they were all in a tough situation together, like facing cancer. Laughter and jokes always works to fight any health problem, any adversity.

The second was the power of connection. Bif said, “When we gather as groups, the connection we have will always get you through. The collective connection we have no matter what situation you are in, you can reach out to the hand of [another] and feel safe.” She said she does a lot of negative self talk. She allows herself to get defeated over the most stupid and shallow things. She said she thinks men probably do these things too. Negative self-talk is a human trait.

Bif was never really angry or confrontational. But she did say one thing that surprised me. Bif said when she thought Canada’s rape laws were too weak, she wrote a song entitled Come to Canada and Rape. In Abbotsford we have the Zero Tolerance Against Men Initiative and 64 BC child advocate agencies worry that the Canadian justice system is hyper-encarcerating boys and young men, especially First Nations children. All of us, or at least most of us, seem to agree that men can be, and often are, abused. According to a recent survey by the U.S. Centers for Disease Control, 40 percent of all victims of extreme domestic violence are men, with female perpetrators. Nonetheless, only 15 percent of all reported cases involve male victims, because, thanks to gender stereotypes, men know that society will most likely ridicule or dismiss them. And the high male suicide rate seems to suggest there is some negative self talk and defeat going on for everyone.

But this was Women’s Day after all and Bif finished up talking about the power of words, the power of music, and of course, the power of girls. The University of the Fraser Valley Senate has voted to give Bif an honorary doctorate for her important work helping women. Congratulations and thank you to the soon-to-be Dr. Bif for a cool talk.

Read AbbyNews article Bif Naked to receive doctorate from UFV.

Parent-Teacher News

Board News

Click if you are having trouble reading School Board News.

Bubble Science

We’ve had beautiful, sunny weather for two days now and I’m looking forward to “souffler des bulles d’amour” or breathing bubbles of love in the warm Spring sunshine with and for our kids.

I had a great time blowing bubbles last year and I don’t think I need to explain this phenomenon to you this year. Kids love to blow bubbles and even teens and adults laugh and get drawn in for a minute. You don’t even need a batch of cookies or any pamphlets about parental alienation (print Canadian pamphlets here). Just go to the Dollar Store, buy eight dollars worth of Bubble Wands in liquid soap and wait for a sunny Spring day. When a family comes by, ask the parents if they want a Bubble Wand, and watch the fun. It’s not an alternative to setting goals and creating an action plan, but when you feel really beat down by adversity, this is an inexpensive plan that helps everybody. First, it gives kids some fresh air and activity. Second, it gets everyone laughing. Third, it connects our communities. Beats the heck out of sitting around worrying about the problem. And you might just send the message that BOTH parents matter, so when parents remain at odds/contradict each other, it’s confusing and unsettling for kids, and can have long lasting effects.

I always love to learn new ways to blow bubbles. This morning a Dad taught me about the Bubble Pipe, like Santa Claus used to have before he quit smoking. Put your soap in a cup with a straw. Cover the cup with a Terry cloth, leaving the straw out. Blow in the straw long enough to fill the entire room with soap bubbles and foam, or until you feel dizzy, which ever happens first.

Sometimes on the Internet you will see photos of kids standing inside a soap bubble. It takes a lot of training to be a bubble scientist.

Bubbles Good Kevin2

Bubble2_Flyer_B_french_La_fete_small1




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La fête des bulles d’amour – le 25 avril, 2013
Ensemble, nous sommes capables de beaucoup.
Il n’y a que 46 jours avant la journée de sensibilisation!

Bubbles Of Love Day – April 25, 2013
Together We Can Make A Difference
Only 46 days till Awareness Day!

21st Century Values

January 31, 2013 Leave a comment

Girls equal in British throne succession

British monarchy set to enter the 21st century?

Prince William and Kate

The question of British throne succession has opened the Pandora’s Box of equality. Those who want elected heads of state in the 54 countries making up the British Commonwealth of Nations say “The monarchy discriminates against every man, woman and child who isn’t born into the Windsor family. To suggest that this has anything to do with equality is utterly absurd.”

Monarchists say it is simply a question of equality. It’s a value that everyone accepts. A commonsense and principled reform that allows our laws to evolve at the same rate as our societies. They are not expecting any opposition and add that on this topic there is no noise.

The ban on the monarch being married to a Roman Catholic is also being lifted. The Roman Catholic Archbishop of Westminster, Vincent Nichols, said the elimination of the “unjust discrimination” against Catholics would be widely welcomed.

Changing these laws which date back to the 1600s will require the consent of the commonwealth nations. There have been at least 11 attempts to change the passage of succession down the years, but they’ve never got anywhere. Now, with the arrival of Kate and William on the public stage, a sense of urgency has overtaken the drag of inertia. An October 28, 2011 BBC News Report states that the leaders of the Commonwealth countries where the Queen is head of state unanimously approved the changes at a summit in Perth, Australia. However, in 2013 these discussions revising the primogeniture laws seem to have provoked in some a more general scrutiny of the relevance of the royal family in societies where fairness and equality ought to reign supreme.

Work-Life Balance

The Wharton Work/Life Integration Project and Twitter Chat

Wharton School of Business

I’m not certain why one third of Quebecers are unmarried. But it certainly is a great way to avoid the nightmare of Canada’s divorce law. Here’s a new link that takes the discussion one step further. The Wharton University of Pennsylvania has been running a Work/Life Integration Project since 1991. So far Stew Friedman, Wharton practice professor of management, has 20yrs of data that suggests we are working much longer hours and expecting dual career relationships, both of which lead couples to avoid having children.

“Think about … that perception of work demands just in terms of raw time,” Friedman says. “I’m not surprised that people are thinking, ‘I’m not going to be able to have children, or I will have fewer children.’ And the reduced likelihood of having children held true for men and women, which speaks to how the attitudes of men and women have evolved over the last two decades.”

From 1 p.m. to 2 p.m. ET on Tuesday, January 29, Knowledge@Wharton and Friedman will host a Twitter chat to further discuss the changing nature of work/life integration:

Q1 How has your definition of “having it all” changed over the course of your career?

Q2 What life- or work-related factor most influences how you define “having it all”?

Q3 How is the changing nature of work affected your ability to integrate career and the rest of life?

Q4 If you could change one thing about your work that would make life easier, what would it be?

Q5 For whom is “having it all” easier – men or women?

To participate in the chat, follow @knowledgwharton and @StewFriedman on Twitter and include the hashtag #kwchat in your replies.

You can read the rest of the Wharton article entitled The Changing Nature of ‘Having It All’.

A Hopeful DSM Update from Linda Gottlieb

From Dr. William Bernet, Chairman of the PAS working group:
“I will tell you what I have learned, but we may not know for sure until May 2013 when the book is published.”

As far as I can tell, the words “parental alienation” will not be in DSM-5. However, it seems very likely that the concept of parental alienation and the definition of parental alienation will be mentioned in at least two places in DSM-5.

If the actual behavior of turning a child against a parent is cited as an example of child psychological abuse, then this is much more significant than having the label of a diagnosis. Because once a behavior is deemed to be child abuse, IT CAN BE CRIMINALIZED. I am hoping for this! Read the rest of the update.

Changes in the DSM-5 put it more in sync with another widely used manual, the World Health Organization’s International Classification of Diseases, eleventh edition (ICD-11), PsychCentral reports. This may enhance communication and consistency among mental health care professionals who use either handbook.

Municipal Bylaws Support Mental Health Programs

Children who go through a hostile divorce and alienation, can present serious, longlasting health problems, including difficulties at school, work and in adult relationships. If doctors label parental alienation psychological child abuse this May, we will need policies to help keep children safe. Teachers and social workers are going to change their approach to ignoring this abuse and perhaps we will see municipal governments creating bylaws and programs to help promote child mental health.

Premier Proposes 10Yr Teacher Negotiation Framework

15 Things Kids Can Do Instead of Homework

Ophea

La fête des bulles d’amour – 25 avril, 2013
Ensemble, nous sommes capables de beaucoup.
Il n’y a que 83 jours avant la journée de sensibilisation!

Bubbles Of Love Day – April 25, 2013
Together We Can Make A Difference
Only 83 days till Awareness Day!

Inaugural Parent Meeting

January 22, 2013 Leave a comment

District Parent Meeting This Week

School Board Office Jan 24, 2013 7pm

The first District Parent Advisory Council (DPAC) meeting of the new year is this Thursday. The teachers will be talking about 21st Century Learning and changing our School Calendar. Both these topics should interest parents, because education is directly related to lifelong earnings and our children’s schedules are critical to our families and our communities. In this election year, I hope parents will also be talking about legitimate community representatives, because I am concerned we will miss our April election again. I am the oldest and most experienced member of our DPAC. I have seen meetings cancelled, and elections never called at all. Eventually, the DPAC executive will say it’s the time of the year when we appoint a new executive. At present our Constitutions says if delays can prevent parents from holding an election all year, then in December our executive can “APPOINT” their favourite parents. Two excuses have been given for cancelling elections: either no public servants can be found or a quorum of ten people cannot be gathered for the vote. Usually the three or four executive just reappoint themselves. However our present DPAC chairman was “appointed”, even though an alternate was standing right beside him asking for an election, and the appointed member was an outsider and completely new to our meetings. These excuses and this peculiar bylaw dismantle democracy. Perhaps this misused appointment bylaw should be removed from our Constitution, or at least, we should begin this year’s election planning in earnest. What do you think?

Reading Weeks, Longer Days For K-12

School Board To Debate School Calendar March 12, 2013

Posted January 17, 2013 at 16:42 | Updated January 17, 2013 at 16:42

The Divorced Father, Not An ATM

YVES MÉNARD The author lives in Lanoraie.

The Court of Appeal has rejected the request of a group of women who asked to increase child support by aligning the scales with the federal child support guidelines rather than those of Quebec. For the well-being of the entire family after separation or divorce, it is hoped that the Supreme Court will confirm the judgment of the Court of Appeal.


PAAO: Parental Alienation Awareness Organization

Busy Time Preparing For April Bubbles of Love Day

La fête des bulles d’amour – 25 avril, 2013
Ensemble, nous sommes capables de beaucoup.
Il n’y a que 92 jours avant la journée de sensibilisation!

Bubbles Of Love Day – April 25, 2013
Together We Can Make A Difference
Only 92 days till Awareness Day!

Social Policies

December 12, 2012 Leave a comment

kids-love-shared-parenting

Australia’s Social Policies

A new study mapping when children spend time with their father after divorce, has revealed a shift away from children only spending time with their father every second weekend.

Children Benefiting as Shared Parenting Taking Hold in Australia: New Study Finds

The study, based on a random sample of 408 separated parents registered with the Australian Child Support Agency, found that despite the complexity of some parenting arrangements, children generally moved between homes two or four times each fortnight.

Led by Dr Bruce Smyth of the ANU College of Arts and Social Sciences the study found that modern parenting schedules post-divorce show a greater sharing of parental responsibilities and richer paternal involvement than previously evident. Read the entire article here.

Canada’s Social Policies

Two Out of Five Federal Parties Support Shared Parenting

The Green Party of Canada’s Equal Parenting Policy

If you click on the image below you will be linked to the Green Party of Canada’s Equal Parenting Policy.

The Government of Canada’s Equal Parenting Policy

If you click on the image below, you will hopefully link to the Conservative Party of Canada Policy Declaration website. The government’s equal parenting policy is in Section K, item number 68 on page 21.

If you click on the quote below, you will link to a petition that has some interesting Canadian history and statistics. Before MP Vellacott’s Equal Parenting Bill C-422 in 2009, there was Bill C-245 by Mr. Hill in 2002, and Senator Ann Cool’s For The Sake of the Children Committee recommendations in 1998.

WHEREAS the vast majority of the Canadian public, 78 percent, supports Equal Shared Parenting legislation, with a high of 86 percent in the province of Quebec, and among supporters of major Political Parties in Canada, Equal Shared Parenting is supported by 78 percent of Conservatives, 78.5 percent of NDPs, 80.6 percent of Liberals and 83 percent of Bloc Quebecois. – Petition to the House of Commons of Canada

British Columbia’s Social Policies

Premier Clark Calls For Safe BC Schools

In the video link at the end of this paragraph, Premier Clark says that we need to create safe schools for kids. She says being bullied does not build character and it is not a right of passage. Our Premier says we need to create safer, kinder schools for our children. The Nov 2011 District Parent Advisory Council (DPAC) meeting, held at W.A. Fraser Middle School in Abbotsford was the only District meeting I have ever attended where all of the 47 PAC presidents were invited. At that meeting I mentioned that we needed to create safe schools for kids, but the response from senior education administrators at the time was that we did not have a safety problem in our schools. Since then we have run more anti-gang programs, school-based substance abuse programs, an internet safety program, anti-bullying programs, and made our community aware of the crime of parental alienation. All of these were responses to significant serious problems in our schools and are starting to make a difference. As we prepare to start a new year, and an election year, I think it is appropriate to call for safe schools for our kids. Despite frequent attempts to silence these conversations, I see Christie Clark’s battle against bullying and Jill Egizii’s war against parental alienation as following long paths in one direction, with sincere motives. These campaigns are supported by the vast majority. I suspect we will continue to see both these ladies fighting for children regardless of their political campaigns.

Watch Premier Clark’s Call For Safe BC Schools in our legislature.

During the holidays, parental alienation is particularly difficult for families to deal with. Many of you may relate to one of these stories, explaining why Parental Alienation is Child Abuse. Fathers and Families hopes to put an end to stories like these, with equal parenting.

Kids-Health

joyeuses-fêtes-banner2

La fête des bulles d’amour – 25 avril, 2013
Ensemble, nous sommes capables de beaucoup.
Il n’y a que 133 jours avant la journée de sensibilisation!

Bubbles Of Love Day – April 25, 2013
Together We Can Make A Difference
Only 133 days till Awareness Day!

Favourite Links

Dr. Richard Gardner.com via Dr. Richard A. Warshak.com

COCHEM, GERMANY: The Cochem shared parenting model

L’Action des Nouvelles Conjointes et Nouveaux Conjoints du Québec

ACALPA – UNE ASSOCIATION CONTRE L’ALIÉNATION PARENTALE pour le maintien du lien familial

NOT ALL DADS ARE DEADBEATS in ONTARIO

Canadian Children’s Rights Council – Conseil Canadien des droits des enfants

Canadian Equal Parenting Council – Conseil de L’Égalité Parentale du Canada

CLICK FOR PINK SHIRT DAY 2012

CLICK FOR BC CHILD & YOUTH ADVOCACY

CLICK FOR PA AWARENESS WEBSITE

CLICK FOR SURREY YOUTH RESOURCES

Parent-Teacher Night

November 26, 2012 Leave a comment

Santa Comes To Town In 1964 Fire Truck

Our annual Christmas tree lighting celebration was Sunday, Nov 25th and we shut down one block in Abbotsford to hold a party from one till three o’clock. A stage was setup and kids from local dance and music studios did their thing, with lots of proud parents and grandparents clapping and cheering them on. The Salvation Army had their kettle out for donations and gave out hot chocolate and cookies to everyone. Save-On-Foods sponsored a tent for a charity called Hunger Response International which was teaching everyone about how to change world hunger and International Family Day May 15th, just a month before Bubbles of Love Day. Hunger Response says they chose May 15 to coincide with Mother’s Day. In Canada and United States Mother’s Day will be Sunday, May 12, 2013, which is close enough to make the connection.

In the undeveloped world, non-government agencies say they have been struggling because when they give money to men, they buy more whiskey and when they give money to women, they feed their whole community. In the developed world, non-government agencies say they have been struggling because when they try to start a men’s center to get men reconnected with their children, men don’t show up. Around the world men are called deadbeats and pigs.

None of this explains men, who don’t smoke or drink and were both employed and parenting their children, and wanted to continue to be parents, but were not allowed to when their children got to Middle school. The fact that so many men can parent babies and young children seems to fly in the face of accusations by NGO’s that all men are useless. It also seems to bring into grave doubt, the argument by Canada’s family court judges that they cannot do anything about the epidemic of fatherless Middle school students. There is a huge disconnect between what Middle school children say about hating their fathers and the obvious warm attachment to dad these children still have after 12 years of living at Mom’s house AND Dad’s house. If there was bonding between 3-7 years, then there still is bonding, but they’re confused, and trapped. You can still reach them. They’re conflicted, and not acting rationally, but the love is not gone. Stay calm and never give up.

It’s Meet The Teacher Night in Abbotsford

It’s our first parent-teacher conference of this school year, and in fact two years, if you count last year’s teachers’ strike. Divorced fathers are often used to being excluded from these get-togethers, and from almost every other aspect of school life as well. Schools say they are neutral in divorce, but children never get to be neutral. If there is conflict, kids struggle to be loyal to both, suffering in the middle, while schools turn a blind eye, usually claiming more comfort with female parents.

I was recently introduced to Pintrest. That’s where I found the photo to the right. There is a poem attached to an apple for parent-teacher night that reads: “An apple for the teacher is really nothing new, except when you remember parents are teachers too.” Apparently, parents just love them!

“One of the most important things you can do for your child is to go to parent-teacher meetings,” said Annie Kidder, executive director of the Ontario parent group, People for Education. Annie says it’s about more than just marks and recommends also asking how your child is doing socially.

Canada AM has some tips for making the most of parent-teacher night.

“When teachers and parents work together with mutual respect and caring, children achieve more at school and are happier to be there.” ~ BCCPAC

The British Columbia Confederation of Parent Advisory Councils says:

Parent-teacher interviews are a valuable tool to help you and your child’s teacher(s) work together for your child’s school success. This is a wonderful opportunity for parents to ask questions and gather information that will help you encourage your children to achieve.

Effective and regular two-way communication between home and school through parent-teacher interviews, report cards, agenda books, telephone calls, Individual Education Plan (IEP) conferences, team meetings, and parent involvement in the classroom and school all support this partnership.

BC Teachers’ Federation on Parent-Teacher Interviews

When parents and teachers communicate well with each other, children benefit and are more likely to have success at school. Although everyone has very busy schedules, the best way to really focus on your child’s progress is in a face-to-face meeting. The parent-teacher interviews provide this opportunity and are an important step in creating positive home and school communications.
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La fête des bulles d’amour – 25 avril, 2013
Ensemble, nous sommes capables de beaucoup.
Il n’y a que 151 jours avant la journée de sensibilisation!

Bubbles Of Love Day – April 25, 2013
Together We Can Make A Difference
Only 151 days till Awareness Day!

Favourite Links

Dr. Richard Gardner.com via Dr. Richard A. Warshak.com

COCHEM, GERMANY: The Cochem shared parenting model

L’Action des Nouvelles Conjointes et Nouveaux Conjoints du Québec

ACALPA – UNE ASSOCIATION CONTRE L’ALIÉNATION PARENTALE pour le maintien du lien familial

NOT ALL DADS ARE DEADBEATS in ONTARIO

Canadian Children’s Rights Council – Conseil Canadien des droits des enfants

Canadian Equal Parenting Council – Conseil de L’Égalité Parentale du Canada

CLICK FOR PINK SHIRT DAY 2012

CLICK FOR BC CHILD & YOUTH ADVOCACY

CLICK FOR PA AWARENESS WEBSITE

CLICK FOR SURREY YOUTH RESOURCES

We Are Malala

November 24, 2012 Leave a comment

Petitioning Nobel Prize Committee

Nobel Peace Prize for Malala

After tens of thousands of Canadians and even more people from around the world signed a petition on Change.org they got every single party leader, including the Prime Minister, to get behind the campaign to unanimously nominate Malala Yusufzai for the Nobel Peace Prize.

This is pretty exciting! When you start a petition you hope for a few hundred signatures and maybe find one or two politicians to support your cause. But imagine all of our federal parties who hardly ever agree on anything, end up supporting the campaign, in this case, for a girl half a world away.

Here is what our political leaders had to say about Malala:

Prime Minister Stephen Harper

“Laureen and I are pleased to support Malala Yousafzai, a determined young woman who has done so much to promote education and women’s rights in her native Pakistan. All Canadians salute her courage and tenacity and wish her well in her recovery.” — Prime Minister Stephen Harper


NDP Leader Thomas Mulcair

“Sixty-four years ago the international community signed onto the Universal Declaration of Human Rights…Sixty-four years later, women are still not equal. Acknowledging Malala would reaffirm the world community’s commitment to women’s empowerment and equality for all persons.” — From the NDP nomination letter by MP Paul Dewar



Liberal Leader Bob Rae

“Around the world, from country to country, we are seeing the emergence of a growing movement in support of Malala…(She) is an inspiration to us all.” — Bob Rae




Green Party Leader Elizabeth May

“I am so inspired by her bravery and idealism. We must all re-commit to ensure the rights of all women and girls.” — Elizabeth May






Bloc Québécois Leader Daniel Paillé

“Tens of thousands of Canadians, Quebecers and people from other countries have signed this petition. Malala’s courage and tenacity have inspired people around the world and awarding her the Nobel Peace Prize would take us one step closer towards a more peaceful and just society.” –Daniel Paillé




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Here’s the New York Times post for Nov 9, 2012 entitled, “Pakistani Girl, Continuing Her Recovery, Reads in Hospital,
By CHRISTINE HAUSER.

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Abbotsford Green Space

I have been going around Abbotsford for the last few weeks talking to everyone about our city parks and green space. There is broad agreement among local schools and churches, (and even businessmen, and municipal politicians) coming together to support our next community garden and green space development. And while it does not quite serve the global community that Malala is reaching, it has the potential to do lots of good things locally, in any city that creates a community garden project. This is a good moment to remind everyone that the Abbotsford Farmer’s Market is staying open this winter, to continue to provide good food from local sources. The next TED video is a eleven-year-old student giving a brave talk about our increasingly industrialized food system.

Universal Children’s Day and Feeding 9 Billion

I received a half dozen comments and pingbacks from my Nov 6th post about Universal Children’s Day, which was nice. I received a note from UNICEF, the United Nations Children’s Fund, which promotes and coordinates this special day, and also works towards improving children’s welfare. Another blogger about the Children’s Day was a PhD candidate from the University of Guelph. He posted the next video from Dr. Evans at the university, who is working on the problem of how to feed nine billion people. Cool video. Check it out.

La fête des bulles d’amour – 25 avril, 2013
Ensemble, nous sommes capables de beaucoup.
Il n’y a que 151 jours avant la journée de sensibilisation!

Bubbles Of Love Day – April 25, 2013
Together We Can Make A Difference
Only 151 days till Awareness Day!

Favourite Links

Dr. Richard Gardner.com via Dr. Richard A. Warshak.com

COCHEM, GERMANY: The Cochem shared parenting model

L’Action des Nouvelles Conjointes et Nouveaux Conjoints du Québec

ACALPA – UNE ASSOCIATION CONTRE L’ALIÉNATION PARENTALE pour le maintien du lien familial

NOT ALL DADS ARE DEADBEATS in ONTARIO

Canadian Children’s Rights Council – Conseil Canadien des droits des enfants

Canadian Equal Parenting Council – Conseil de L’Égalité Parentale du Canada

CLICK FOR PINK SHIRT DAY 2012

CLICK FOR BC CHILD & YOUTH ADVOCACY

CLICK FOR PA AWARENESS WEBSITE

CLICK FOR SURREY YOUTH RESOURCES

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